


Friday Mornings

by Thefuzzzzzzzz



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Feels, Drama & Romance, F/M, High School, M/M, Teen Romance, cottages
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23239078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thefuzzzzzzzz/pseuds/Thefuzzzzzzzz
Summary: harry is beginning to settle down and find a bit of peace after the war, hes moved to a finishing school in Scotland where many Hogwarts students have come to finish their sixth ans seventh year. he lives happily with Ginny and their dear friend Luna in a quaint little unit in a small wizarding town bordered by forest. life is getting better, everything is healing, and Draco Malfoy seems to be doing just fine on his own. so when he begins to hang around harry, making little attempts to rectify the wrongs they have done to one another, Harry's perfect little world begins to feel threatened. He cant figure out if the passes draco is making at him are assault or if they are completely warranted, and he doesn't want Ginny to get caught in the crossfire.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Kudos: 4





	1. ..monday

**Author's Note:**

> set three years or so after the battle of Hogwarts draco and harry become friends, for want of a better word. dracos past relationship keeps poppng into his mind as he relates details of it with his current feelings for harry, and he cast seem to keep those feelings quite to himself. and harry is simply confused about the whole situation.

Friday morning. ... Friday mornings had changed for him, becoming a person or a colour almost. It had taken a while for days to regain their substance and meaning, and a deal of healing to catch up, but now Friday morning signified the last day of the week, a day to spend looking forward to Saturday, to the weekend. The days had been traveling slowly, since the war and the cleanup that came next. and not just the cleanup of the school, that mess was easily swept under beds and hidden, but people needed cleaning too, cultures needed re shaping homes rebuilding around empty seats, new neighborhoods with new neighbors that would struggle for trust. cleanup after funerals clean up after parties, after weddings twice postponed and children conceived in the sudden shocking still and calm of the world. There was a lot of clean up, work hasn't returned to a regular schedule even months after His death, and the weeks in that time, and the few years before during the war, had simply been numbers to cross off on a calendar. but they were regaining substance. Wednesday felt green, number three of the week, one of Harry's favourite days. Saturday was red with energy and excitement and Sunday mulled down to a calmer purple slipping into blue Monday.

friday mornings he woke up to yellow light filtering through the window and the smell of the shower down the hall and coffee ready made sitting on the stove. he arched his back under the duvet and stretched out his spine, digging his heels into the soft mattress. he spent a moment suspended from the bed to think through the list of names in his head.

_sirius, remus, nymphadora, fred, albus, severus, cederic, amelia, regulus, charity, hedwig, alaster, bathilda, ted, dobby, vincant, colin, lavender_

like a chant every spare moment of thought it played out in his head, dancing across his lips quietly and dampening his mood. Friday turned really grey quickly. he rolled out of bed and pulled clothes onto his body. school started at nine. in the kitchen of their small flat ginny was buttering toast with the back of a teaspoon and scratching at her leg up on the counter next to the stove. Harry wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed her gently, the wool knit of her jumper itched his face.

"You need a shave," Ginny told him, sucking the butter off the spoon and stirring her coffee with it. Harry cleaned out the perculator into the compost bin and ran water through it. he always needed to shave, every morning his chin was scratchy and ginny refused all kisses until he was smooth. and fair enough, he often thought her prickly unshaven legs under the sheets some nights were unbearable, so perhaps the small surface area of his chin was a small sacrifice. but a warm kiss in the morning would be nice one day.

he waved the percolator at Ginny and raised an eyebrow, asking silently if she needed a second cup, then fought off a yawn and missed the answer. He filled it up any way and threw it on the stove lighting the gas.

"skip potions with me later?'' The water was scalding when ginny turned the tap on to rinse out her mug and she dropped it in the sink, shattering. a swear word slipped out and she went hunting for her wand.

"No can do," Harry mused, flicking at the pieces, "I'm behind on my last assignment but I'll catch up with you at lunch still." ginny swatted his hand away and flicked a spell at the mug, the pieces flying back together and crackling into place. Harry watched the sink for a bit and ran through his list again in his head.

"stop doing that," Ginny swatted at his chest, inspecting the mug closely.

"doing what?" he watched as she filled it with water.

"picking at your nails, youll go blind that's what mum always says." the water ran through a hole in the bottom of the mug where a piece of it had fallen into the drain. ginny cursed the thing and threw it into the bin with malice.

"don't throw it out. I'll plant some chives in there," Harry mumbled, wiping his hands cautiously on his pants before fishing the pottery out of the trash to place gently on the windowsill next to the other herbs he had growing there, most in actual pots. "also i wont go blind, i'm already blind, and mollys are just being theatrical."

"lunas rubbing off on you," ginny rolled her eyes at him and went to sit in her chair. Ginny's chair was an old fold out armchair that did not close any more, salvaged from a removal truck doomed for the tip. it was layden in quilts and knitted blankets like a colourful bird nest and she didn't like other people sitting on it, disturbing the careful arrangement she had set up just right. Harry called her goldy locks, Ginny had no idea what that meant, and Harry had told her the story to which she had just laughed at and called silly.

"i'm gonna go shower, last chance for the toilet,"

Ginny waved her toast at him carelessly in a way of saying _all yours_ and toed the on button on the tv.

Harry shaved quickly and put on Ginny's deodorant because he was out, slipping on black jeans a size too big and a grey button down he had been wearing all week, hitting it with a quick cleaning spell. to overcome his hair he had grown it out and it tied up easily and cleanly now, short hairstyles just didn't suit him as well. On his way back to the kitchen he knocked on Luna's door before pushing into her room, a mess of painted walls and pot plants and things suspended from the ceiling. she was good to live with, maintaining the little wizarding garden outside joyfully and providing some tranquility and bizarre relief from Ginny's overwhelming moods. she wasn't the cleanest house mate, nor did she make for the best conversation or cook very well, but she was a lovely soul. Harry often thought of her as a mermaid, lost from her ocean home but curious and knowledgeable about the world in ways no one else was.

"do you want coffee?" he asked, standing in the doorway. luna turned around from where she was crouching digging through a pile of clothes and sniffing each one. she was naked, but harry had grown used to this as her most comfortable state and leant down to sniff the shirt she held out to him. He shook his head and took it to put in the laundry later.

"yes please, can you put some roses in it this morning too? i need something clean.." she trailed off, sniffing a pair of underwear. harry nodded and left her to it, and threw the shirt into the laundry room. he had to heat up the coffee again and poured out two mugs, filling one with milk and honey and the other with rose petals they had drying in a mesh bag that hung from the curtain rod. he watched them suck up moisture and expand in the coffee as he stirred it, pulling one out to nibble on.

Ginny called out to him from her chair that his fly was undone when he got back to their living room. He did it up and sat on the couch, patting his lap for Ginny to join him. she threw herself onto him ungracefully, finally giving in and smooching his clean shaven face.

"so i've been thinking..'' Ginny started, wriggling around to sit next to Harry pressed up against his side. Harry raised an eyebrow at her, sipping his coffee curiously. "when the new season of masterchef starts.."

"don't you even finish that sentence," harry interrupted her, setting his mug down carefully and turning, "you are not watching it without me,"

"but when you're off doing extracurricular at school and what not it's such a hassle.." she probed him with a finger in the ribs, whining and sliding around the couch. "you can catch up on it when you get back, what's wrong with that?"

"it used to be our thing, the three of us on the couch! i introduced you two to it!" Harry exasperatedly explained, sitting straight and looking panicked. Ginny found it hysterical in her evil little way, giving him the look that roughly translated to _im doing it anyway now, especially because you're so worked up about it._

"fine. do what you want." Harry muttered, scooping up his mug to go sulk in his room for a few minutes before he had to go out for school.

  
  


"can you believe them? even luna! and she knows how much it means to me,"

there was a drought coming in through the window, a small section of it was missing and rimmed in small cracks. It let the late autumn air into the toasty classroom and Harry scowled at it. he was sitting his catchup years at a small wizarding school newley set up in Valleyton shire, a little wizarding community on the outskirts of Arberdeen enclosed by thick forest and deterrent trees that warded muggles from wandering willy nilly in and out of the area. there was a small community of centaurs that lived among the wizards, displaced from the war but otherwise content with the new surroundings. Many of the sixth and seventh year Hogwarts students who had fought in the war and couldn't bear to return had moved out there to redo and complete their final years of schooling. In light of the war several dozen houses and units had been erected on what used to be old farm land long abandoned, complete with a new movie theatre and electricity run off from the surrounding muggle townships. Harry found the shire to be a little enclosed sanctuary of well run community spirit and fresh nature, a fair comparison to the dystopia of the past.

"honestly i don't understand why you get so worked up about it," sean was saying, scratching down the notes their potions teacher was putting on the board. The potions professor was a stout little woman, in her late thirties and far from bubbly. Mis Vermont was american, she was strict and rough edged but spoke well, Harry found himself enjoying potions a little even, personality aside. He could actually learn from this woman.

"it's just a tv show, catch up on it later,"

Harry, trying to focus and not look quite so scandalised, snuck a peak and Sean's paper and copied his notes. He was far more organised and straight to the point than Harry was. "it was our thing though, we watched it together, and now im being excluded,"

"you're not being excluded, you're just dragging the team down so they are moving on without you," Sean said and flipped his page, continuing his writing. He looked up at Harry finally and frowned, "That was a bit harsh, sorry."

Harry shrugged, going through his list quickly.

"let me copy your notes, i like your layout,"

"Potter, Callum, are you done?" Mis V pulled a face at them, slinging her large fists up to rest on her hips. She had yellow lipstick on today which suited her, Harry noted, and nodded his head.

"carry on," harry shuffled his papers and coughed into his fist, giving a short nod. he scribbled down the rest of seans notes quickly into his book. he's had enough of parchment scrolls and quills, it had been fun at hogwarts but the innocent magic and impracticality of such a practice had surpassed him along his journey and he had bought muggle lined paper and ballpoint pens to use for his final catchup years of study. Many kids had chosen extended years, like Harry, running a more advanced and in depth seventh year over a two year period. They were almost finished with the first year having started the final term, and Harry was looking forward to the holidays the same way he had begun to look forward to weekends.

Then Draco Malfoy walked into the room and looked around, apologizing to the teacher for his tardiness. she rolled her eyes and indicated to the empty seat next to harry that trinity usually sat in. she was skipping potions to play quidditch with ginny as she was actually on top of the workload. Draco hesitated a moment and made eye contact with Harry for a second, who was trying his hardest to look indifferent. After Draco's trial and all the shit that happened post war, his father in prison and his mother's move to France for some much needed mental rest, Harry and Draco had come to a mutual understanding- to treat each other like classmates, nothing more and nothing less. there were no more snippy comments thrown here or witty spells flicked there. it was mutual ground to leave each other alone to complete their final years of schooling in relative peace and harmony.

Draco strolled over steadily and pulled the chair out, sliding into the seat. He turned out a parchment and a muggle fountain pen from his satchel and settled in, spinning the pen in his slender fingers.

"do you need the notes?' Harry asked, flipping his page over to the theory mis v had already wiped off the board. draco looked across at him a little startled and confused. there were other empty seats in the room, but he had sat down where he was told to avoid any possible conflict. mis v didn't seem to like draco very much, he sensed it was his past that she disapproved of, and fair enough he thought. he also had not wanted to look on bad terms with harry potter, the boy who lived, the saviour, it would only serve to further damage his tarnished image. it was simply easier to take the seat next to him and hope for the best. Draco looked across at Harry's notes, neat scrawl poorly organised and rushed though they were, he tried a thin smile and thanked Harry and started copying the text down.

it was annoying actually, coping harry's notes. He kept flipping between pages to try to stay on top of the work mis v was slapping on the chalkboard while allowing Malfoy to write down what he'd missed. Draco felt mildly superior with his parchment roll, he wouldn't have this problem if Harry had just stuck to good old wizard schooling equipment. but draco also found it a little.. kind, perhaps, for want of a better word, that harry was clumsily making an effort to lend a hand.

The class was instructed to split up into pairs to complete the next assignment and as they were dismissed to rummage the storage cupboard mis v dodged through the students over to harry. she stared at him for a moment and signed heavily. draco was still sitting next to him furiously scribbling down the notes off the board, anticipating the scolding he was going to get after potter.

"You missed the hand in date of the last potion," she told Harry, Draco felt a little bad for listening in, '' I'll be needing it by the start of next week. I have to grade all the potions before I can give out scores and feedback. can you get it into me by then?" mis v leaned a chubby fist on his desk, her knuckles cracking under her weight loudly. Harry stifled a yawn that he felt trying to bubble out of him at an inappropriate moment and nodded his head, lifting his thumbs into the air.

"And you, Mister Malfoy” she turned to draco, “ this is the third time you've shown up late to my class," she chirped ruefully, Harry sat there sheepishly with his head down pretending not to hear and picking at his thumbnail "do you not value my precious time?"

"no, ,no no I do value it, I really do," Draco stumbled, grimacing, "I'm sorry I just missed my alarm, won't happen again." It was a weak excuse and he could feel her disappointment. but it was the truth and he really couldn't see any other way to escape telling her this. a lie would have sounded far worse and he was trying so hard this year to set things right, to make good impressions and argue less.

"help potter catch up would you?" mis v sayd, leaving them to yell at myrtle for dropping a bottle of fly wings. Harry looked at malfoy and tried out a smile which looked more like a grimace. draco returned the look and rubbed his temples.

"alright there i'm not that terrible, i just fell behind a little," harry muttered, gathering his things into his bag and pulling out the ingredient list for last weeks potion, "i won't drag your grades down,"

"I didn't even say anything," Draco mumbled through his hands. He read over the week's potion ingredient list for a sleeping drought feeling a little smile tickle his lips. He could use this one. Then he looked across at Harry who was still sitting next to him and things clicked together in his head. "were not partnering up." he said, shaking his head emphatically.

"you heard her, help me catch up.'' Harry pulled a hairband off his wrist and held it in his teeth, gathering his hair behind his head. He tied it off in a really shit bun and rolled his shoulders. Then he caught dracos eye and jerked, his eyes widening, "i mean, you don't have to if you don't want to, you don't owe me anything.." he trailed off.

draco studied him for a second and sighed, gathering his things together. "You get the ingredients for last week's healing potion, I'll round up the other ones," he told Harry, already getting to his feet. He wanted to grab a little extra, make maybe a little more than they needed, a little something for himself to get through the rest of the term. "ill owl you and we can meet up at some point,"

harry nodded and slung his jacket over his shoulder, "sounds good,"

  
  
  


draco woke screaming beside his bed, clutching at his stomach and the bedframe. he kicked out of the tangled sheets and stumbled into the shower, pulling clothes off and discarding them under the warm spray of water. he would worry about them later, for now he just held himself and turned the temperature up higher, the strong pressure of the faucet digging into his back soothingly. god he hated weekends. Pansy and Blaise had moved away with their families who had come out the other side of the war still with money and a little pride. Draco got letters from pansy every tuesday from her viller in thailand where she was settling down nicely and attending a small catch up school. their owls took four days to travel the distance so she got his replies on friday, draco always wrote back right away. Blaise didn't have much to say and they only sent eachother mail for milestones, like blaises 19th birthday. there was no special party to celebrate, he had moved to australia three months ago and before that he was in france. Draco had sent him a beautifully worded letter congratulating him for ageing and a picture of the pine forest outside his little unit in valleyton shire.

weekends were bothersome without anyone to do anything with. Draco had invested in a television at pansie's recommendation, she had one in her dorm room and rattled off a bunch of tv shows he should be keeping up to date with. many of their letters were about said shows they enjoyed, and movies they had seen. without the tv and school work he could catch up on draco feared he might lose his mind on the weekends. there was nothing to do in the little town. there was the forest sure, far kinder than the dark forest had known at hogwarts. Draco had found a few little walking trails through the dense foliage and sometimes indulged in wandering along them, he collected potions ingredients when he came across them, sometimes even a little collection of jars had started to grow in his kitchen pantry. The little shire offered the cinema, no new movies were shown there but he enjoyed watching the repetes when home life really got to him. The market intimidated Draco a little, all the people he saw he knew knew him, could see into his darkened soul and he wasn't quite ready to face all the people. He only went there for his weekly shop, often spotting other people in his classes. There was also a small library and bookshop where he had purchased a dictionary of potions ingredients, inspired by the ferns and mushrooms he found in the forest.

Draco actually had quite an impressive library, inheriting most of its books from the manors collection. He had written out a list of his favourite books for a house elf to pick up for him, not daring to enter the cursed building himself. so his favourite books rested proudly and relieved away from the dark literature found in the halls of his once home.

draco pulled himself out of the shower, clenching and unclenching his fists to stop his fingers from shaking. what a way to start his sunday. he looked at himself in the mirror and frowned at a growing bruise on his forehead where he must have hit his head in his writhing sleep. he pulled open the second draw where his products were kept, fine hair conditioner and tea tree shampoos, aftershave that smells like cinnamon and pine needles and a cologne he had found in a muggle store that took to his fancy, and a little bottle of fresh healing potion that he had made in class last week. he dabbed it onto the bruise on his face and ran a comb through his hair while he waited for the potion to settle into his skin.

there came a thumping from the main entrance making draco jump, and he recognised the sound of the brass knocker on his front door. draco towelled himself dry and rummaged through the draw for his hair jell, waiting for whoever it was to either state themselves or leave. he found the gell and slicked it through his hair, combing the sides down. he would need to get it cut again soon, it was unrule at the back.

The knock came a second time and Draco frowned, scratching at a scab in his eyebrow. then something clicked in his head and he slipped into a bathrobe, museing at the time.

"I'm sorry, come in," Draco huffed, a little embarrassed as he opened the door. harry stared at him for a second while draco squinted at the bright sunlight that streamed in through the doorway. he hadn't anticipated sleeping in so late, it was 12:36 according to his clock. he left harry in the doorway to decide for himself weather he would come inside and angrily opened up some curtains, filling the unit with light. he vowed to leave the curtains open at night from then on. "I won't be a minute, sit down anywhere," Draco said and hurried to his room. He threw on a silver knit jumper and trouser pants and his favourite socks with the grip on the bottom so he wouldn't slide about on his polished wooden floors.

Harry was sitting at his kitchen bench, which doubled as Draco's dining table and desk, looking about uncertainty. draco felt self conscious, like he himself was under scrutiny.

Harry noted the stylish benchtop and cupboard doors, their little silver handles. The room was small and cosy and there was a collection of jars in the corner behind a vase of little white flowers that were on their last legs. The oven and stove top was modern and muggle and there was a fridge with little asian magnets stuck to it. Even the bench stool Harry sat on was stylish, a black frame with little brown cushions.

"i like your place," he offered up eloquently, looking at draco now fully clothed standing nervously in the doorway. The pressure seemed to be let out of him for a second and his shoulders slumped in relief he didn't even know he was waiting on. draco nodded and set about setting up a cauldron on the stovetop unhurriedly, pouring a measurement of aqua into it to start boiling.

"did you bring a cauldron?" He turned to Harry, examining his mish matched outfit. He had a red collared shirt under a thick black jacket with wooden buttons and a terrible thin knitted scarf in purples and browns. To top it off he was wearing corduroy trousers. but he looked good in it somehow. Maybe it was the olive skin and the soft green eyes, and Draco found himself shivving his imagination for thinking such sentences.

"Yeah alright," Harry grunted, rummaging in his satuel and producing a cheap copper cauldron. He walked around the counter and set it up next to Dracos, going back to his bag to find his notes.

Draco was actually a surprisingly good potions teacher Harry discovered. He knew what he was doing and did not hesitate making decisions. it gave harry a little confidence, he was better to work with than ron who chatted too much and got them both side tracked. ron and hermione both had chosen to fast track their catchup years. Ron chose to because he hated school and prefered working in the joke shop he and George were trying to revamp, and Hermione had too many ideas and career paths she wanted to explore. They were in different classes to Harry, their classes going at a different pace to his, and Harry didn't mind. He had spent the last eight years of his life with them and he knew they would always be there for him when he needed them. it was nice, he felt more grown up and in control on his own.

Draco showed him where he was doing things incorrectly with his brewing techniques without being insulting, and Harry found himself relaxing into the small kitchen area easily. it shocked him how easily he was able to move on from hatred and scepticism and unease to this comfortable environment he found himself in. he got distracted sometimes, looking at draco and the way he moved, trying to piece together how this could be the same person as the boy on the astrology tower, or in the bathroom, or the scared little kid in the dark forest who easily abandoned him to save his own skin. and draco would catch harry staring and scowl at him and ask _what_ and harry would recite his list, faltering on the word albus.

Harry felt himself creeping inside his skin, it was uncomfortable. The more comfortable he became with Draco the more he felt dislike for himself.

"where's your bathroom?" Harry asked, after passing Draco a stirring stick without even being asked, he had just instinctively known what draco meant when he twitched a finger in its direction. it wouldnt do to be this comfortable with this man, who had killed others and enabled murder in a school. Harry needed air. his lungs were tight and he felt his heart in his chest.

draco studied him with an eye, the other concentrating on the potion making sure to stir it appropriately. "first door to the left," he said, nodding at the short hall. Harry thanked him and pulled himself towards it, grasping at the wall for support as if his knees would give out at any moment.

The bathroom was stylish and small, a sink and draw below a round mirror on the wall, a toilet wedged in the corner and a pokey bath wedged between two walls with a black stainless shower head protruding from the ceiling. A little fern hanging next to it thriving in the humidity. The room was tiled in white with a thin line of pink glass tiles running around all the walls at waist height. Harry sat on the toilet lid and squeezed his hands together, his knee jumping around. He said his list in his head, once, twice, then out loud in a whisper, and again louder. like a chant he recited his list between knee bounces over and over until his body relaxed and stilled. Harry sat up straight and rolled his shoulders. He looked at himself in the mirror and turned the tap on, washing his face and hands. He thumbed the little tin box in his chest pocket but left it alone. in the reflection of the mirror he noticed a pile of clothes in the bathtub, soaking wet. _a bit of an odd place to do your laundry, he_ mused. Harry gave himself one last glance and composed himself and went back to the kitchen.

"You find it alright?" Draco said, scraping the diced ferns into the sleeping drought with an obsidian blade. He was side eyeing Harry, who was paler than before. Harry scowled at him and picked up his notes, reading over the next step instead of responding. dracos brow furrowed and he looked away, somewhat disappointed. He had begun to feel at ease with Harry being in his home, brewing potions with him in his kitchen. perhaps he had imagined it.

"what happened to your face?" Harry asked, uncorking a bottle of brandy. He looked around for a measuring cylinder and Draco handed him one without being asked. it made Harry's stomach churn and he grimaced, accepting it from draco.

Draco touched his forehead, it wasn't painful anymore but rather at the itchy stage of healing. He had hoped Harry might not have noticed it but felt no such luck. and Draco was faced with the dilemma of answering that question. so many responses ran through his head; _had a dream about you, in the bathroom,_ or _i had a nightmare and fell out of bed like a scared child_ or _remember that one time you sliced me open?_ but they were all inadequate responses. they would only serve to drive a steak between them and whatever progress they were making towards being something like, not quite friends, buddies perhaps. they may even descend back into arguments and snide comments, and Draco was surprised to find he didn't want that. that he had moved on and matured past the childish whims of fighting for fun and stirring shit. He felt like he could try to be a good student without the outliers.

"nothing," he settled for an appropriate answer to save face. it was better he held some ground, kept his space. He wouldn't check up on Harry's health. asking if harry was alright was what he had granger and the weasleys for. Draco was just helping him with his homework, and he feared the word just in that thought the same way he felt saved by it.

The potions had to be left to simmer for an hour, which was why they were a homework task. their lessons were only fifty minutes. Draco thanked Morgana for that, he wasn't sure if he could survive any longer with the potions master. Or perhaps it was simply the classroom he didn't like. He had made a few acquaintances whom he could rely on to pass him the work he missed, all local kids which made up the bulk of students at school, but draco couldn't bring himself to do anything more with these people, he wasn't sure if he could call them friends and therefore didn't do any friend activities with them. He went on his walks alone and bought single discounted student tickets at the cinema and lived by himself. He had his cat, Brenton, who spent most of its days sleeping on draco's bed. Sometimes it would join him foraging out in the forest, chasing after the insects, but that was the most physical activity it seemed capable of.

Harry accepted a delicate mug of tea which he insisted draco didn't put enough honey in and perched awkwardly on the edge of a chair. They were on the little wooden balcony that looked out at the forest, a small latch gate leading down petite stairs to a path on the left side. Hanging plants swung lazily from the gutter and a fat white cat had come out to join them. He and draco stared intently at the hour glass on the table, avoiding eye contact and otherwise ignoring each other. Draco pulled up a seat, quite intentionally but subtly, away from Harry and sat down with his own mug. The cat rubbed its face against his thigh and gracefully swung its body onto his lap.

“His names Brenton,” Draco said, petting the cat's head fondly. Harry tore his eyes from the sand and his features softened. The corners of his mouth turned upwards slightly and draco noticed his fingers twitch, like he was stopping himself from touching the cat. 

“Okay, “ Harry sipped his tea and picked at his nails, “he's a bit fat,” he said, nodding at the cat. Draco looked down, his features pulled upwards, and nodded in agreeance.

“It's the first time i've seen him move today,” draco confessed, jiggling his knee so the cat would look up at him. 

Harry felt a little exposed on dracos behalf. It was the first time he had seen the pokey blond open up, his gentle actions so at odds with the image Harry had built up of him in his mind. Of course, Harry knew he couldn't have been evil all the time. Back at Hogwarts Harry had built visions of him scheing in his dorm room with the other slytherins, rubbing his fingertips together, but he knew they were false images. Draco had to have had his down time back then, he would have softened up for his friends, Harry was sure of it. He had only ever really been on the receiving end of all draco's worst and nastiest moods. It was bizarre, almost surreal to be sitting on his balcony sipping tea and watching him talk fondly about his chubby cat. He was almost content, which put him on edge. He recited his list to remind him of who he was with.

Draco glanced up at Harry, furrowing his brows. Harry's knee was bouncing and he was muttering to himself, a silent chant, like a curse or incarnation and draco felt a jolt in his chest. Then the brunet noticed him and stilled, looking a little annoyed and embarrassed for a passing moment. Harry pulled a small tin container of herbal cigarolls from the chest pocket of his jacket. Luna had introduced him to them when she caught him having a panic attack back in his first term at this new school. He'd known her to smoke a little pot from time to time on the astrology tower at Hogwarts with a few cheeky hufflepuffs and wasn't surprised when she pushed some of her hippy smokes on him in his moments of panic. And to his surprise they had actually helped calm him. They sometimes went out to the forest to pick wild jage leaves and collect absynth flowers that they dried in the kitchen and rolled. Ginny didn't partake in smoking, she didn't approve of it, wanting to be in peak fitness and health for her quidditch. She had shown some promise and there were rumours of holly harpie scouts being sent out to the schools next game. 

Harry looked at draco, “you don't mind do you?” he asked, indicating to the half smoked cigaroll he had produced from the tin. Draco shook his head, watching as Harry's knee stilled for a moment while he conjured a flame wandlessly and held it to his face to light the roll, sucking in blue tinged smoke. It curled through his stubby fingers, strong and calloused and nail bitten.

Dracos stomach flipped as he recognised the feeling of attraction. He shook the cat off his lap and stood up suddenly, declaring something about checking on the potions. He closed the door gently behind him, not wanting to come off as irritated, and went to the bathroom. His wet clothes were still in the tub, he thumbed his forehead in frustration and embarrassment and threw them into the laundry room and went to stand over the potions. Draco would not be attracted to Harry potter. But he could already feel strong arms wrap around his waist and pull him back into a firm body, he could feel warm breath on the back of his neck and stubble graze his jaw, soft lips on his cheek. He was thrown back to sixth year, the little fling he had had with jordan, the soft hufflepuff boy who had seen right through him and held him regardless, had kept their secrets and indulged draco in a kindness he hadn't deserved, and whom had left humbly and with understanding when draco had lashed out fearfully. 

He shook his head. These were forbidden thoughts, forbidden memories. Draco was stronger now, on his own away from his parents, away from the war and the dark lord, far away from his past decisions and getting further with each passing day. He would not impede his progress with thoughts of such nature.

Harry was sitting on the floor with Brenton in his lap smoking another cigaroll when draco finally dared to go back outside. There was still a quarter of sand in the hourglass and he was feeling tired despite the afternoon sun. He just wanted to finish up quickly and have a sandwich and maybe a good wank and go to bed. But Harry was still there, invading his space and petting his cat, and Draco felt obliged to be at least civil. Draco offered Harry another tea which he turned down. Harry was no longer shaking or chanting, he looked content and lazy in the yellow glow and draco resented him for that, and the fond feeling he got in the pit of his stomach. 

Harry saw draco watching him and raised an eyebrow like a fool, like a bloody fool with no self awareness. His scar had begun to fade finally, the jagged edges and tendrils of a lightning strike dulling and softening into his skin finally after all these years. Hair was escaping from the band that secured most of it behind his head and danced over his cheeks with the chilly wind. Smoke curled up over his hand, held away from the cat politely, and Draco felt the urge to pluck the cat back and collect his mug and send Harry away. He fit too snugly into draco's home. 

Then Harry did the unthinkable, probably because he was a little content and tired and high, and held the cigaroll out to draco. who , to his credit, did very well at hiding his shock. He inspected the best approach to the situation quickly; _shake his head politely, decline blatantly, wave a dismissing hand and shoo the smoke away, take the bloody thing and_ smoke with potter _on his little balcony like good old chums_. But he took too long thinking and Harry had come to his senses, a clarity sliding over his eyes, and he snuffed the cigaroll out on his boot. Draco thought it was a very considerate action, a lesser man would have risked scorching the wood slats of the floor. He watched Harry slide the half smoked roll back into the tin where it fit loosely next to several others, and sat down on a chair. It had been a close call.

“How uh,” draco started, not sure where the sudden need to fill the silence came from, “how are you doing in history class?” he asked stupidly. Harry gazed at him, his head lulled back and forth with idiot serenity. He considered his answer for a minute, wiping his face with his hands and scratching the cat behind the ears. His only answer was a shrug for a time.

“Sands almost out,'' Harry muttered and scooped the cat into his arms gently as he stood, “we should finish brewing.” Draco darted to the door and opened it, letting Harry and the cat inside. 

He instructed Harry on the best way to chop the bore root and kept a close eye on him, not sure if brewing slightly stoned was the best idea. But Harry was diligent and careful and more concentrated than before so draco didn't say anything on the matter. He pondered while he stirred whether Harry ever attended classes in that state, and thought the answer was most likely a yes, he did. Then he considered how often, and why he'd never noticed. Which he supposed was the same reason he hadn't noticed his attraction until sixth year when Jordan had spelled it out for him. He had been avoiding the matter furiously, when it would have been easier to face head on in hindsight. Harry was a reasonable man and draco was sure he would have understood, spared some empathy in light of draco's dialemmer. Instead Draco had bullied him for years, a more extreme form of playground pigtail pulling backed up by poor parenting and prophecies that enabled self entitlement. 

Harry had noticed draco staring. He kicked himself, wincing in embarrassment, that he had actually offered draco a smoke. Like an idiot, Draco had stared at him, visibly confused, and Harry thought he had maybe only been that self conscious once or twice before. He looked down at the cat who was rubbing itself against his ankles and shook his head. 

“Idiot,” he told the cat, sighing, and turned back to his notes, “bloody idiot.”

“What now?” Draco looked at him, still stirring rhythmically, “what did you do wrong?” he snapped his fingers at Harry and pointed to the chopped bore root which Harry handed to him. 

“Nothing, nothing, you just keep up with the stirring,” Harry muttered darkly and looked into the other cauldron. It was the right colour at least

  
  


“You had a good day,” Luna told Harry, dusting nothing of his shoulders and blowing on his face. Harry had just gotten home, he was still wearing his jacket, standing in the doorway waiting for Luna to finish her ever changing greeting rituals. She grabbed his hand and sniffed his fingers, raising an eyebrow at him and twisting his fingers into a fist. She patted his knuckles, “Come smoke with me,” she said and pulled him to the back door. 

Harry yelled his greetings to Ginny who was in her chair struggling with history of magic homework and threw his satchel at his room, watching it bounce into the laundry closet instead. Luna Released him and bounced down the wooden steps onto the tame lawn, turning in time to watch as Harry tripped on the lip of the dorway and fell down the stairs, rolling ungracefully. He came to a stop on his back looking up at the sky. It was just gone dusk, the clouds were tinged pink and orange and he spent a moment just gazing at them. He didn't feel embarrassed around Luna, she was busy picking grass and dropping it onto his head. No, he thanked Merlin Ginny hadn't seen him do that just then. The merciless minutes of teasing he would have had to endure had she bared witness to that tumble.

Harry could smell the sage in their garden and the pot he and luna had growing under the house and the earth beneath him and felt whole and connected for a precious moment. He liked to collect these moments, to look back on later when things got a little disconnected.

“I hate that little lip in the doorway too,” Luna said, reading Harry's mind. Harry let luna pull him to his feet and joined her on the edge of a wooden garden bed. She patted his hair, picking grass out of it and apologising for having put it there in the first place. The air was chilly and little nocturnal bugs were waking up and flitting about, glowing in the dimming light. Luna smelt like lavender oil and hazelnuts, she pulled a joint from her bra and held it out for Harry to light. He picked at the dormant tomato plant behind him as she smoked, the front wispy pieces of her hair singing on the glowing end. Harry tucked them behind her ear for her gently.

"You got your potions done then? All up to date?" She passed him the joint and tied the front of her cardigon up waiting patiently for Harry to answer. Harry watched the rolled bud smoulder and go cold in his fingers for a minute, nodding absently. He lit it again and breathed in deeply, grinning at Luna who asked suddenly "how is draco?"

Harry coughed and raised an eyebrow at her, considering his answer carefully. Luna had heart enough to ask about even Voldemort's health. "He seems lonely," Harry mused, looking to the back door as Ginny stomped her way outside, clearly frustrated beyond belief at her homework. She threw herself onto the grass in front of Harry and wiggled her fingers at him. Harry slid his hand into hers and squeezed it, but she slapped him away.

"Not you, give me bud," Ginny fussed, wriggling around to rest her back against Harry's legs. Harry passed her the joint skeptically, breathing a cloud of bluish smoke onto the top of her head and laughed stupidly when she started coughing and sputtering. Luna confiscated the weed. 

"What are you lot chatting about?" giny groaned as Harry started rubbing her shoulders, arching her back into his touch. 

"My day studying with Malloy, he seems more… manageable than he used to be," Harry murmured, starting to feel both light and heavy from the drugs. He smiled to himself a little, "Malloy has a chubby cat called brendon or brenton or something." 

Luna nodded, swaying with the head motion, "Yes he's mentioned the cat, we're good friends in herbology class." Harry was sure she was exaggerating the _good friends_ part but didn't bother to say anything. Luna had been asked to move up a year in herbology, the grade below was full and she was top of the class anyway, she was doing really well at senior herbology from what Harry had heard. 

"You never mentioned that," Ginny swatted at Luna's knee, accepting the joint from her but keeping it away from her face. Harry took it, holding it in his lips while he messed with ginny's hair, looping and knotting it loosely. 

“You better not be knotting my hair,” Ginny grumbled, turning sharply to look at harry. He smiled politely and shook his head, ash dropping onto ginny's shoulder. She brushed it off and turned away and Harry quickly raked his fingers over her scalp, marveling at the deep red colour of her curls. Luna plucked the joint from Harry's lips just before he got burnt and snuffed it out on Ginny's shoe. She had a thing against putting fire near grass, something about attracting a little gremlin creature that protects good lawns, and luna was always without shoes apart from at school where they were sort of a requirement. Even then though she wore sandals and socks, something most of the muggle born kids cringed at.

“Draco is rather polite isn't he,” Luna said out of the blue, shucking grass seeds and nibbling on them. Ginny burst out a short laugh and Harry scoffed at her, then considered the statement for a moment and found himself in agreeance. He had been polite, all year at school Harry had observed this out of character behavior being displayed in the classes they shared. He had been polite and reasonable and he was a good potions teacher, not that he would ever admit that out loud to anyone.

“He's a good potions teacher,” 

Harry looked around and realised it was him who had spoken. Damn weed, he shouldn't smoke around people. “I mean, he wasn't mean to me, and he knows what he's doing,” Harry should have just stopped at that first statement but wasn't quite able to control his tongue so it seemed. Luna smiled at him broadly, nodding along.

“I really am quite fond of his cat, we should get another one,” she hummed, then broke into a song quietly.

“You haven't even met his cat luna, it could be a horrible beast for all you know,” ginny spoke up, letting her grin shine through in her words, “malfoy would only tell you the good stories of his cat, he's too proud to admit the thing probably shits inside or something,”

“Actually, it's a very polite cat,” harry heard himself saying, ”ten out of ten i think we should get another one, a friend for tybalt,”

"You sound fond of the cat harry," Ginny mused, "Are you fond of malfoys cat?" 

Luna was still mumbling her nonsensical song, holding a finger out for the glowing bugs to land on. The sky was dark now and the air was closer to frosty than chilled, but Harry felt warm where his fingers rested on ginny's shoulders, her hands covering them, and he knew what fondness really was.

"No-" he started, then changed his mind, amused, "actually I think I might be."

  
  


Draco malfoy took a swig of the sleeping drought he and harry had made together and lay down in bed, tucking the blankets in close to his sides. He thought about the word _together,_ and very much liked it. He wanted to do more things together with people, with Harry. He had done enough healing on his own and felt ready for the stuff he had to do _together_ . He felt motivated, Draco thought he might book a port key to Thailand, hang around pansy for a while, go out for sneaky drinks like the old days. He thought of flying to Australia on a muggle plane, making a real _adventure_ of the trip to see his dear friend Blaize, getting a tan, or horribly sunburnt. He felt new energy to do _things_. Draco made a note to take brenton for a walk through the forest after school tomorrow, collect some rose petals from the late blooming kid bears roses he'd seen budding on his last walk. Harry had smelt like roses and coffee.

Draco lay in bed growing heavy and happy and let his mind wander freely for the first time in ages. 

His first conversation with jordan in sixth grade, out in the forest for a herbology lesson looking for bracken ferns, slipped through his memory. Jordan had approached him openly and unafraid, introducing himself and holding out a dirty hand for draco to shake. It had been on a day when his usual possy, crabbe and goyal, were in detention for something Draco hadn't bothered to commit to memory, and he had been feeling relaxed without peer pressure to be a twat. Draco had even shaken Jordan's hand, maybe he had even smiled.

Jordan was tall and stocky, he was pale and freckled and angular. Draco weakened when his voice dropped to a low whisper, or when Jordan's sandy curls fell over his eyes. He liked to count his freckles, the ones that spotted the bridge of his nose and eyebrows and covered his arms. He looked good in knits and sweaters and the colour yellow draco discovered over the short months of their secret relationship.

And Jordan had seen right through him there in the forest, Draco could remember the look in his eyes. Jordan had noted the change in dracos posture, how content he seemed in solitude, and draco had felt fear and relief swamp him. Fear that he was so revealing, that he had let his guard down, that someone may have been able to slip between the plates of armour Draco wore round the clock. And relief that he might have found someone to shed it with.

His memory jumped forward in time, to their first kiss in the kitchens under the great dining hall. His back was to a small pantry door that rattled with age when he leaned on it, and the vast room was warm and smelt toasty. Jordan had approached carefully, stepping into draco's space like he was approaching a fox ready to bolt. He reached out and took Draco's hand gently and leaned in, his chin grazing dracos cheek, gritty with stubble. 

"Can I kiss you?" Harry's voice sang out in his head.

draco snapped awake and found himself launched upright in bed. Why was Potter's voice in his memory? How cold he have allowed himself to get so distracted as to let Harry _intrude_ him in such a way. He tried to think back to the memory but the boy that had once been there in the kitchen grew taller, his blackened, skin darkened, freckles faded and his eyes bloody bloomed emerald green. 

It wasn't appropriate, it simply would not do to think like that, but his mental battling grew futile and he gave in and slid a palm over the front of his boxers. He could feel warm arms wrap around his body, tough and battle worn and muscular. Harry's calloused fingers dug into his waist hungrily and held draco close against his hot body. a steaming mouth slid down his throat and bit at his shirt Impatiently, draco slipped his fingers between the fabric and pressed against a warm nipple. He could imagine Harry's presence, the space he would take up in his bed, in his room, in the building Draco was making his, a house starting to feel like a home. He could feel how Harry might fit into the space and complete it. Draco arched his hips into his hand and rubbed himself harder. 

Merlin he felt disgusted with himself, he felt dirty and stupid and pathetically alight with sensation. Like a cat in heat he rolled over and rutted against the soft sheets on his bed. Half suffocating with his face pressed into his pillow draco came onto them with a muffled groan, twitching against the fabric.

He felt lethargic and heavy suddenly, with the burden of what he had just done. The weight of the sleeping drought finally pulled him under its wing and he slept soundly in his own filth until dawn.

  
  


Luna skipped into the greenhouse cheerfully, humming to herself a song she had had stuck in her head all week. Ginny gave her a blue flower that Harry had given Ginny in the morning, a very confusing chain of events that had led up to it being in Luna's hand. She gazed at it for a minute while her herbology teacher Pots cracked onto her for being late again. She explained that it was Monday, and Harry had left his curtain open allowing the verrigors into their home which had made her sleep really heavily. Pots had argued something ridiculous about how _those things don't exist_ and Luna spied draco watching them from across the glass room. Luna had excused herself, allowing pots to continue his lecture, and wandered over to the shy blond kid.

"Hello draco," she greeted him cheerfully, slipping for a moment into humming that song. Draco observed Luna almost fearfully for a second while she sang, her back to pots who were looking quite mad while also trying to hold it together and teach the rest of the class. Luna was lucky she always did well on assessments.

"Good morning lovegood," draco chimed quietly, his eyes flitting between the ditsy shoeless lady in front of him and the demonstration going on about correct re potting of venomous wormtail weed. Something gently brushed Draco's hand making him jump and yelp, turning a few heads in his direction embarrassingly. He looked down and saw luna trying to pass him a little stem of dainty blue flowers like some kind of organised drug deal. He wondered for a second if the flowers were a drug, but he'd seen them growing in the front of the school and decided they were probably safe. 

"here." draco took the flower between his fingers, twirling it around. "From Harry," Luna grinned at him, having already forgotten the whole story, and stood next to draco. She paid attention to the rest of the demonstration, smiling politely at pots, seemingly oblivious to dracos dilemma. 

Sometimes Luna just said weird things, draco knew that, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from the delicate blue petals. What had she really meant by that, was the flower handed to Luna from Harry, and she had then decided to pass it on to him? Or had Harry asked Luna to pass it on? A little extension of the metaphorical olive brace, was Harry looking to be perhaps friends? In which case, why the flower? Draco could feel himself slipping into a little crisis and tried to snap back to reality where the other students had already moved on and were slipping into elbow length leather gloves.

Luna appeared out of nowhere and handed draco a yellow set of gloves to _match the ones_ shed _picked out for herself_. Draco thanked luna politely, suddenly unsure of where to put the flower. He fumbled with it for a second then slipped it into his satchel, in one of the side pockets where it shouldn't get lost. He looked up and turned red, realising luna had been watching him. She smiled politely and grabbed draco's sleeve to pull him over to an empty bench where they could work. 

“Would you like to join me for a stroll this evening?” luna asked airily, her elbow brushing against dracos so he knew she was talking to him instead of the other students on their workbench. It was funny hearing luna speak so formally and properly. Draco supposed she was putting it on a little to impress him or something, he thought they were thoughts luna might have. 

_A stroll,_ draco thought, _what would a stroll entail?_ He figured she would take him through the forest, or maybe down to the market, was it a date? No, it couldn't be, perhaps she thought they were friends. They were certainly friend _ly,_ but would she consider draco in that way? 

“Where are you planning on strolling?” draco asked the safest question that came to mind, looking round for people who might be listening in. but everyone seemed busy with their own conversations, and concentrating on not being poisoned by the little seedlings they were burying in larger plastic pots.

“There's a little walking path I like, always covered in moss. Did you know the niplets that spread it live in the creek down that way? I want to find some,” luna petted the seedling she was holding gently, roughing up its roots to get the soil off them, “also bring your cat, i want to meet him.”

  
  


Draco pulled the little blue flower from his bag. Some of the petals were bent and it was looking very sad and droopy, but the colours were still vibrant. He still felt unsure about what to do with it, he didn't feel comfortable just throwing it outside or into the bin. A real friend, that's what luna had called draco and herself, had given it to him- maybe even passed it on to him from another possible friend. Draco hadn't felt bold enough to press further about what she had meant, but he found that he liked the thought of harry asking luna to give him a little flower. He would quite like for it to happen in person. Jordan had often slipped flowers into his pockets..

But what to do with the one he had now? He could put it in a cup of water and keep it for a day or two, he could press it, but that often squished the colour from flowers. Draco considered these options seriously for a while, hunched over his kitchen bench cradling the dainty flower in his fingertips. He decided to dry it with a cleaver little spell he had picked up from his fourth year transfiguration book, spelling all the water from it so the flowers wouldn't lose their shape or colour. 

Draco emptied the vase of dead flowers that had been sitting on his kitchen counter in the corner for longer than they should have and washed it out quickly. It was far too big for the single stem, so he strunk it, praying it wouldn't crack like pottery sometimes did. 

The flower looked nice on his windowsill lapping up the afternoon sun. 


	2. .tuesday

Draco malfoy was standing in his doorway. Harry's eyebrows knitted together and he took a startled step backwards, taking in his whole form to make sure he was real. Black leather shoes, tailored pants, dense felt coat over a blue collared shirt and his stupid slicked hair ever grees to top it off. But he didn't look bad, Harry had to admit even to himself draco was a man of good taste. Still, there was the dilemma of him being in Harry's doorway smiling politely at him casually clasping a hemp tote bag by his side.

“Can i help you?” Harry inquired, tilting his head. Malfoys bloody cat decided to make its appearance, jumping onto the front step to rub its little face against Harry's legs. It let out a grumbling little purr and stared up at him, waiting impatiently for Harry to pet it. He sighed and knelt down to scratch its chin, glancing up at Draco accusingly as if it was all some pley to get Harry off guard. 

“I, uh,” draco started eloquently, “Luna, she invited me to, uh, walk with her…” draco trailed off, not really sure on the details himself. He had brought a bag in case he came across any of those late blooming roses, or other potions ingredients for that matter. It was also to carry cat treats, which he was a little embarrassed about. Draco looked down at Harry and then back away just as quickly. He was wearing a loose knitted button down cardigan which was open at the top and no shirt underneath. Draco could see down the cardi from that angle, it had caught him off guard, he took a step back. The whole predicament was doing wonders to dracos imagination, seeing Harry kneeling in front of him sent his mind reeling and he could feel his face heating up.

Harry looked at Draco suspiciously, standing much to the complaint of the cat, he went inside to find Luna leaving Draco on the front porch to deal with whatever problems he was having. Luna was in the lounge room studying with Ginny where Harry had left her. They were both without shirts, Harry had done an exceptional job on the heating charm, so good he had actually browned the newspaper that was nearest him when he had made it and singed his arm hairs. They were kind of suffering for the time being in the heat, waiting for it to cool down a little. Ginny, who suffered the dearest, was even sweating. 

“Malfoy’s here,” Harry told Luna, raising an eyebrow at her which was ignored. Ginny perked up though, looking at luna curiously.

“Is it your turn for a study session with malfoy?” she asked, nibbling on the end of her pen. Harry had gotten both of them onto the wonders of bic pens, and neither had looked back at quills since, although they still prefered rolls of parchment and Harry had to admit it was good for shopping lists. 

“No, actually I invited him to go down to the creek with me, you should come too!” luna bounced to the feet and wandered over to the front door, inviting draco into their house. Harry felt a little unsteady, he sat on the back of the couch behind ginny. It was strange seeing Draco in his kitchen, so clean cut and propper, he looked very out of place. Draco came across more like an OH&S inspector than a guest, Harry felt like he should be pointing out the muggle fire alarms he had on the roof and the warding they had set up. But Luna was asking if Draco wanted tea, using his first name like good old chums, and Draco was saying yes and Harry's mind was spinning too fast.

“Come sit down,” Ginny said, sensing Harry's discomfort. She had pulled a singlet over her head when draco had walked in, not quite as comfortable as luna was with being half naked around… guests. Harry supposed fair was fair, and he shouldn't really be freaking out quite so much. He had been in draco's house not twenty four hours ago, sipping sweet tea out of draco's matching muds. But there was something different about the stylish, matching, almost clinical setting of Draco's house and their mismatched and roughened home. It was more personal and connected, their shared home was warm and inviting, the kind of house that welcomed guests, while dracos house was cold and serious, the kind that encouraged tidiness and formal conversation. Harry felt split open and exposed and he held Ginny's hand while she wrote down her notes.

Tybalt, originally Ginny's cat that had adopted Harry and Luna as secondary owners, slunk out from under the curtain where it had been sleeping. The windows were cool, the poor tabby cat didn't really approve of hot environments. It sulked its way under ginny's homework onto her lap and pawed her thighs, settling down. The cat had sensed dracos chubby white feline, Tybalt didn't really warm to others of his species, but the white cat jumped onto Harry's lap like he owned that seet.

“Awwww,” ginny cooed, dropping her pen, “malfoy, is this your cat?” she asked, having skipped greeting the shy blonde in their kitchen. He looked over at them, tea in hand hovering by his mouth, and nodded. “It's very chubby,” Ginny said, which made Harry snort. 

The two cats inspected each other, interrupted by large human hands scratching their ears and backs, and finally settled down again satisfied with their greetings. Tybalt was eyeing harry sceptically, looking slightly betrayed that he was allowing an intruding cat onto his lap. Harry knew he was going to suffer for it later. In fact he felt like he was suffering for it now. The way draco was watching him felt like an accusation in the waiting/. It was quite discerning. Being observed like that. Like it was Harry being inspected for oh&s and not the house.

Harry looked at luna forcibly, stilling his hands on the cat much to its dismay. “If you're going down to the creek will you pick me some chamomile,” he had already raided their plants of buds last week and they looked a little raggedy, Luna and Ginny both agreed they should let them rest for a while and rejuvenate. Harry had been drinking a lot of chamomile brew, some concoction of herbs and mushrooms Luna had shown him. It was helping with his sleeping, he didn't have as many bad dreams any more. Sometimes sure, he woke writhing and shouting and Ginny would rush into his room and sleep with him, but those nights were getting fewer and fewer and Ginny slept with Harry for a whole other set of reasons. 

They had chosen to have separate rooms when they moved in, space was a key aspect to not biting each other's heads off. It was also nice to not have to fight over things like pillows and temperature and who sleeps nearest the door and why the blanket keeps being pulled over to ginny's side of the bed. They functioned well as a couple who lived together in separate rooms, Harry couldn't imagine why anyone would choose to have it any other way. 

"You should just come with us," luna was saying, pouring out more tea for Ginny who had been giving her side eyes about it, "the weather's nice for it."

"It literally just stopped raining twenty minutes ago," Ginny pointed out, taking the mug from Luna carefully. Luna always underestimated the amount of space needed for milk in tea and the resulting cup was often way too full. It didn't help either that Ginny over milked her brew, not that Harry would ever say anything about the matter, Ginny had several arguments he'd already heard about his over moneyed tea, and several more he hadn't heard Harry was sure.

Malloy looked over at Luna, visibly avoiding Harry's eye. He looked uncomfortable and stiff, all Strait jutting angles in their soft kitchen, observing a homely conversation he was unused to bearing witness to. Harry leaned over ginny's lap and sipped her tea.

"Come on, it will be a little adventure," luna ran a hand over each of their heads, "it'll be fun!" 

To Harry's horror ginny caved in and started to get up, mumbling something about the temperature inside being _too hot anyway_ and _besides, it'll be just nice by the time they get back_. Harry tried not to look mortified as he sulked to his room, feeling the peer pressure get to him. He found the jacket he had been wearing the day before on the floor where he had left it and an orange scarf hung up on the bed frame. Sometimes he resented luna for her kindness, but only sometimes. He looked at his wand on his bedside table, considered slipping it in his pocket for a second, then decided it was a good excuse to leave later on when things got uncomfortable as they were sure to. He put it away safely in the draw.

Draco malfoy watched the cats chase each other across the little animal tracks they were walking on. He hunted through the foliage with his eyes for plants he recognised, he stared at the ground for roots and stones that night trip him up, he looked at luna when she spoke to him, at birds when they made sounds and little magical creatures as they went about their day. He looked everywhere except at harry, who was walking in front of him in his stupid jacket and stupid washed jeans with his hair tied up stupidly in a terrible bun. God draco thought he was stupidly gorgeous, the kind of effortless gorgeous that you see in people right after a shower, or in the rain, or at the beach. 

Ginny shoved past Draco gracelessly and launched herself onto Harry's back, grappling him to the ground in a tangle of limbs. Harry yelled out as ginny shoved a wet handful of moss down the back of his shirt and squirmed on the ground under her weight in distress. Luna gazed at them a little confused and walked around, continuing down the path. Ginny saw her and sprung to her feet, chasing after luna and grabbing her hand swinging it theatrically. She had wet patched down the arm of her hoodie and along the side of her leg. 

Draco looked down at Harry pittingly and extended his arm to pull him up. He was still rummaging through the back of his jacket, picking moss out distractedly, sitting cross legged on the wet ground. Draco could see moss and leaves in his hair and without thinking reached the short distance further to pick it out. Harry flinched and slapped his hands away, looking up surprised to see Draco there. He was particularly quiet and still sometimes. 

Draco held his arm out again, “need a hand?” he asked stupidly. Harry studied him, his hand still down the back of his jacket, and then a tired or fed up look washed over his face and he gripped dracos wrist. His hands were wet and cold and rough like draco had imagined, and at the memory he felt himself blush. What an idiot. 

Harry grunted a word that sounded vagley like _thanks_ and brushed himself off roughly. He removed his boot and shook it out wobbling on one foot. Draco touched his elbow to support him and to his surprise Harry held his shoulder as he put his show back on. 

“Hurry uppp,” ginny yelled at them from further down the trail, grinning maniacally. Harry flipped a finger and told her where she could shove the moss next time and jogged to catch up with them, leaving Draco to shove his hands in his pockets and wonder where he stood in Harry's life. His chubby white cat broke out of a bush near him and composed itself, strutting over to walk next to draco calmly.

The creek was more of a river draco discovered. The trail they were on broke out into a small clearing, perfectly round. It was in a ring of standing stones Luna explained in her way with too many words, most of which were made up and unnecessary. The standing stones had some magical property and hers grew bizerkly in their centre. For some reason unbeknown to draco the sun shone through the clouds in the space and the branches of the trees that rimmed the clearing curved around the circle as they grew, completely unobtrusive of the area. Draco watched Harry drag Ginny down to the water's edge and attempt to throw her in, but she was wriggly and escaped, laughing shrilly. The water was clear and lethargic, draco could see little glimmers of fish, their metallic scales reflecting the afternoon sunlight. 

“Don't be useless ginny, give me the bag!” Harry yelled, a bundle of yellow centered flowers clutched in his arms. There was what could only be called a _mass_ of them growing to the east of the clearing, wildly swinging in the breese on delicate stems that spread upwards like a searching octopus. Draco recognised wormwood and absinthe and lavender and thick grasses and spindly shrubs of this and thick creches of that. He saw a number of the late blooming roses he had been seeking growing a few metres outside of the clearing, the old flower heads still spread open while the newer ones started to close up for the night. 

“Do you mind if i collect some of those?” draco asked luna, pointing at them. She was sitting on the ground shucking grass seeds and scratching her legs. She followed his finger and craned her neck to see over the tall greenery, and nodded absently, laying back down. Draco supposed that was a yes.

He made his way over to the roses, careful not to stand on anything that might be a herb, he didn't want to disturb their secret little sanctuary. He stopped to inspect some mushrooms, their little pink caps stood out, almost glowing in the dim lighting immediately outside the clearing. It was strange the sudden difference in temperature as well, there were more bugs too hidden away in the shade of the forest.

“What are you looking at?” Harry asked, appearing out of nowhere. Draco yelped and fell back onto his bum. Harry had almost filled his little heshed bag with chamomile, draco could smell it from where he sat, and some other purplish leaves were poking out of the top. Draco saw Harry still had leaves and moss in his hair.

“You still have moss in your hair,” he said, then pointed to the little pink mushrooms in answer to Harry's question. Harry ignored the comment and squatted down at the shrooms. He squatted next to draco and scratched the surface of one of their caps with a stick he found on the ground. The abraised area of the shroom turned purple as it oxidised. 

“These are good for tea,” Harry said, “there's another kind that looks similar, but will make your throat close up.” Draco looked at him skeptically as Harry took a little perring knife from his jacket pocket and started cutting the mushrooms from the dirt. Draco was so close to him, he could smell the smoke still lingering in the fabric of his jacket and the rose scent that seemed to follow him around. And something sweet, honey perhaps. 

Harry slipped the mushrooms into his bag and stood, looking down at draco for a minute. He pocketed the knife and held out a hand. Draco gazed up at him, recognising the encounter for what it was suddenly. Harry had actively sought him out, had made his way over to him and started up a conversation. This was them turning into something more than classmates. This was Harry accepting the olive branch. Draco let the smile he felt inside slip over his face and he took Harry's calloused hand, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet. He held on for a second longer than was necessary, locking eyes with him for a moment. Harry pulled his hand back and brushed it off against his hip.

“I, uh, was going to pick some of those roses,” draco told him, “that’s cool, yeah?” _that's cool, that's cool,_ he thought, feeling like a bumbling idiot. What kind of question was that? But Harry didn't snicker or anything, he nodded slowly.

“Yeah, me too,” he shifted the bag on his shoulder and started towards the flowers, “were almost out at home. You use them for tea?” Harry looked back at Draco, waiting for an answer. 

“Sometimes,” he shrugged, “they go well in a nice brandy.”

Luna was completely blazed when they returned to the clearing, humming that same song to herself happily and waving her arms through the air. The cats were sitting by her head next to ginny who was eating a plain bread roll. Harry said something stupid about ginny not bringing him a roll too and pulled tybalt into his lap. Ginny graciously broke off a piece of bread for him. 

“Actually i'm not that hungry,” he told her and dodged a punch, scooting away from her and closer to draco. Their thighs pressed together, and draco didn't move away, his leg was warm. And when Harry didn't move away and the moment to do so passed, draco felt his stomach drop with the chilling wells of excitement and fear. He stayed very still, like Harry might bolt if he so much as breathed loudly.

Luna passed Harry the half smoked joint shed had stored behind her ear and he accepted it without a word. Draco watched him light it wandlessly, slightly disturbed with himself about the way that image made him feel, and when Harry breathed out thick bluish smoke he had to look away, feeling a little overwhelmed. 

“You prepared for the history exam tomorrow?” Harry asked, nudging luna who looked like she might fall asleep. She blinked up at him and pulled her scarf up around her throat, snuggling her face into Brenton's dirty furr. Draco was going to have to bathe the cat when he got home, he wasn't exactly looking forward to that task.

“No.'' Ginny said. Looking dejected. She shoved a cat out of the way and lay down next to luna, curling into her side. Harry smiled at her fondly, sucking in smoke, and draco felt a sliver of jealousy which was quickly batted away. He had no right to get in between their relationship. Draco would eventually have to move on from this stupid crush he couldnt seem to get over. It was the damndest thing, Draco had fallen for Harry so many years ago in the robe store in Diagon alley. Back then the little boy on the stool, his ethnic appearance and shy, kind face, had caught draco's attention immediately. He had been interested in friendship, and when that offer was batted down so harshly in front of the whole year level he had grown somewhat obsessive. The stubborn allurence of _you can't have that_ made him seek it more vigorously. And with puberty and sexuality slipping into his life draco had become mean, only realising his feelings as attraction when they were blatantly spelled out. For a while he thought he might have moved on from Harry, after he had pushed Jordan away, but those same feelings had returned anew and he felt heavy.

Harry was watching draco as he thought, the little furrow between his brows as he considered something in his head. Draco was subjectively attractive harry thought, he was pale and smooth and sure, maybe a little pointy. Draco had slim, almost geometrical hands, hands you would see playing music, like piano or guitar. Harry considered that for a moment, trying to imagine draco sitting down and relaxing into a song. It was a forign image to him, a scenario he would never have put Draco in back at hogwarts. But here, in their little clearing in Scotland where draco was almost a different person, he could see it. Their eyes caught for a moment, and in the dwindling light Harry saw dracos cheeks reden. He held out the joint to draco and for a moment the blond hesitated, then took it between his slender fingers and brought it to his lips. Harry watched him breathe in and blow out a cloud of smoke. He could see why girls had swooned over him at hogwarts.

“Do you play any instruments?” 

Draco looked at Harry, a little unsure. “i played piano for a time,” he told him, “but i haven't touched one now for years,” 

Harry could imagine a little draco sitting at a grand piano in the manner, a posh tutor instructing him, a house elf coming in halfway through practice with tea and cookies. Harry couldn't imagine draco's mother taking him food, he couldn't imagine her even cooking. Harry pondered for a moment which one of their childhoods had been worse, dracos hierarchical racist puritan family, ever judgemental of anything that wasn't their standard, or Harry's rejected and lonesome, near abusive household, living a life unwanted under the staircase. It was a tough pick, in the end Harry would probably choose neigher. Ginny had lucked out with Molly and arthur.

“Why do you ask?” draco was saying. Harry turned to him and hummed his confusion, raising an eyebrow. “About me playing music?” Draco breathed in smoke consideringly, hugging his knees into his chest. The cold was really starting to bite as the sun dropped behind the tree line.

“you have nice hands,” Harry shrugged at him, “just thinking out loud really.” Draco blushed visibly and turned away, it startled Harry a little. “Alright, calm down,” he muttered, taking the weed back and snuffing it out on the bottom of his boot. _Enough of that_ he thought. 

Ginny snickered at them, groaning her comfort into Luna's side. “We should get going,” she mumbled, “i'm going to fall asleep here.”

“Lunas already beat you to that,” Harry muttered, nudging her with his boot. Luna stirred and peeled her eyelids open, looking up at him with big pale eyes. “Side along with Ginny home,” Harry told her, glancing at the ominous clouds gathering in the sky beyond the clearing, “it'll rain on the walk back, might as well apparate.”

Ginny groaned and rolled around on the grass to wake herself up. Luna joined her, together they flattened the greenery and fussed around more than was necessary. 

“Are you going with malfoy? The wards are all fixed, yeah?” ginny asked. They had an incident a while ago when Ron tried to apparate directly into their backyard and the warding had sent him a kicking stinging hex. But they mostly had it figured out now and only people with ill intent suffer the consequences. In hindsight rod had probably fallen under that list, bearing stink bombs as a practical joke to spice up their wednesday evening. 

“I left my wand at home, we’ll just walk,” Harry shrugged, allowing Ginny to pull him to his feet. She pecked him on the cheek and took Luna's hand, disappearing with a crack. Harry looked at draco, still sitting on the ground relaxing into the sensation of being high. Harry had almost asked him to aparate them to the end of the trail, but on second thoughts that probably wasn't the best idea. He nudged draco with the toe of his boot gently and picked his bag up, slinging it over his shoulder. “Come on.”

Draco looked up and held both his hands out for Harry to pull him to his feet. He wobbled, gripping harrys hands tightly for a second, he felt light and dangerously relaxed. Like he could say something he shouldn't say, or do something he would regret later. Like he could lean into potter and press his forehead to Harry's chest, the material was cold and damp. 

Harry pushed him away, shaking his hands free from dracos and gripping his shoulders. He looked draco in the eyes, his expression verging on anger and bewilderment. Harry shook his head. Draco found it more terrifying that he wasn't saying anything, that he wasn't verbally expressing his disgust. He would have prefered Harry to be terrible, to tell him off for being so bold, or express his distrust in Draco after everything he’d done. But Harry was having his own crisis of morality. He too had done some terrible things, and it was more confusion that gripped his throat than anything else in that moment. 

Why was it now, after almost a year of schooling together, that draco decided to buddy up with him? Perhaps they had fallen so deep into ignoring their differences and their pasts that they were starting to come out the other side. perhaps it was going to go full circle and they would begin to hate one another again. But throwing around insults after everything was dangerous, it would expose parts of themselves they would much prefer to pretend to forget. 

Harry spared draco one last glance and began walking back down the little trail, hands shoved deep in his pockets. Draco gave himself a minute, _idiot idiot idiot!_ What was he thinking? Maybe in a different life things would have been different, but in this one all he could hope for was uninterrupted nights to himself and his dreams, and for another person to appear in them.

“You're soaking,” ginny said rather unnecessarily. Harry had just walked in the door, closely trailed by draco. They dumped their coats and shoes in the front entrance in a heap and bumbled into the kitchen. The house was still toasty inside, and it smelt of the brew luna made for bed. Harry spied the pot sitting on the stovetop and hummed appreciatedly. He ignored ginny.

“I found some more mushrooms,” Harry told luna, setting his bag down on the bench. Draco raised an eyebrow at him, and Harry corrected himself, “actually Malfoy found them, but he doesn't know what they are so I picked them for you.”

“Thank you harry.” Luna gave him a grin, she was sitting next to the stovetop cradling a mug of brew in her lap, the ends of her hair trailing in it. 

“You didn't get me anything,” ginny said. She pulled herself out of her chair and flicked a drying charm at Harry who thanked her quietly. 

“Maybe I did, you don't know that. Maybe it's a surprise,” Harry told her, pulling his chamomile jars out of their pantry where he kept spare mesh bags. He upended his bag and began picking through the flowers, discarding the stems in the compost bin. Draco watched him, his clever fingers knew the action well and he found himself helping out. Wedged into the small kitchen space next to Harry, their elbows brushing together, they worked through the pile of flowers and chatted. 

Ginny was ever merciless with her teasing, but draco found he didn't mind. It had gotten on his nerves back at Hogwarts, sure, but he could tell she wasn't heartfelt in the insults. She shared much the same humor as Harry, but with a little less of his charm. Although draco might have been a little subjective. Luna went to bed after she washed her mug out, kissing them all on the cheek to say goodnight, even draco. He found it sweet, a little tenderness he hadn't had in his life for a while. It reminded him of how lonely he sometimes felt. 

“I don't think that's a real word,” ginny scoffed. She was in her chair playing with a hot bean bag, the grains inside it made pleasant grinding sounds. The chamomile was hanging in the kitchen by the window, they had washed it and every now and then draco heard a drop of water hit the bench. It was irritating, so different to his unit which was almost dead silent. Their house was far closer to the forest than his, the trees nearest rubbed against the roof and crickets chirped merrily and the whistling of air moving through the branches of the forest could be heard. The walls were very thin, draco supposed. Harry had done another warming charm on the house and Draco smiled pleasantly, he looked like a man who would produce a good amount of warmth. Ginny explained that he had burnt the quibbler and draco called it a nonsensical problem.

"No, it is a word weasley," draco argued, "do you own a dictionary? Surely one of these books.." he started picking them up from the piles Harry left scattered around the house, examining the spines theatrically. Harry grimaced, many of the ones in that room were cooking books. He felt that was an old lady thing, a Molly Weasley thing, not a teenage-boy-hero-of-the-wizarding-world thing. draco perked up at a glossy muggle magazine, flipping through a few pages and forgetting what he was doing for a moment. Harry and Ginny exchanged a glance.

"You can borrow that one if you want," Harry told him, trying to hide a laugh that might come across as discouraging. He found it cute that Draco might be interested, that he had come so far from the boy who handed all lesser tasks down to elvs. He could see draco at a stove top, cooking a fine dinner with the same skill and effortlessness he had for brewing potions. It was a nice image, Harry smiled to himself. 

Draco caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall and made a noise, it showed the time to be around half past seven. It shocked him a little, that conversation was so easy with people who used to despise each other, he felt a little embarrassed to still be there actually. As he started looking for the right words to excuse himself ginny yawned and pulled herself out of her chair.

“im gonna head off to bed,” she said, twisting to crack her back.

“good Segway,” draco nodded, standing up, “I should be getting home.”

Ginny grinned at the posh way he spoke and held out her hand which draco shook. She had a firm grip, tough skin, not at all the tender hands of what one would expect form a young lady.

“good to get to know you a little,” she said, “you’re not that big of a pratt anymore.”

Draco laughed nervously, not sure if they had reached the point of beig able to joke about the past quite yet. But he appreciated her effort at normalizing him. Harry peeled himself from the couch, setting the empty mug he had been cradling down on the coffee table.

“ill walk you to the apparition point,” he said. Thinking better of the mug, harry picked it up and walked it over to the sink in the kitchen where he quickly rinsed it out. Draco waited for him at the front door slipping into his coat and slinging his bag over his shoulder. He handed harry his jacket and they stepped outside, the door closing with a soft click behind them.

Dracos nose was almost numb, the night was cold and dark, the moon hidden behind thick clouds. He could see lights from neighboring houses a dozen or so yards away, dim and warm. The street was light by a few scattered streetlamps attracting moths, draco thought he saw a bat fly through collecting insect snacks. It was peaceful outside, the gravel of harry and ginny and lunas drive crunching underfoot.

“what are we now?” draco heard himself ask timidly. He glanced at harry, picking at the lining of his pocket, “are we acquaintances? Could we be something closer to friends?”

Harry paused and looked at draco who turned to face him head on. Feeling bold draco took a step closer into his space, the puffs of breath he was making in the air falling just short of reaching him. Draco was taller than harry and it became more apparent at such a distance, harry had to tilt his chin upwards to look draco in the eye.

“I suppose we could be friends,” harry started, looking somehow comfortable with the situation. He opened his mouth to say something else, draco itched to hear it, leant in almost, but harry looked away chewing on the inside of his cheeks. Draco nodded slowly and stepped away, their proximity suddenly feeling uncomfortable. harry continued walking and draco tailed after him, not sure what friends really, truly meant for them. Did it mean they would hang out at lunchtime at school? Study together in the library during their spares? Go on more walks in the forest, brew potions together? Chat and function around one another without qualifiers? It all felt so uncertain to draco, he could feel himself slipping into a maze of thoughts.

“you can aparate here,” harry said, snapping draco back to reality. They were under the streetlamp, draco could see vines snaking around its cold metal surface, little buds of sleeping blooms decorating the leathery stalk. He looked at harry, his hair wild and jacket zipped up to his throat, stubble on his chin, skin golden under the lamplight. God he was beautiful draco thought. He apparated away with a sharp crack and not another dangerous word.


	3. ..friday night

Draco re discovered what friendship could mean over the week. He shared a workbench with Harry in potions, and even got to know Sean who had an eye for brewing. It was no wonder Harry copied his notes. When he went to the library to study, Ginny gave him a nod from her table and draco went to sit among the old Gryffindors, it was becoming less awkward, Ron had even given up the bickering and suspicious glances and settled down a little. He was terribly distracting and had to get up every five minutes it seemed to move around. Luna had asked him to go around to her flat on wednesday and he had sat in between her and harry on the couch watching masterchef it was nice, really nice actually, harry's warming charms really were something, he had felt kind of hot with the two of them pressed up against his sides. Or perhaps it had been Harry's thigh against his own, their shoulders brushing against each other when one shifted to sip their whine. 

Draco had been busy, for the first time in a while he _felt_ busy, like he had a life. He still ate dinner at the same time as his cat most nights, studied more than regular students he was sure, and made some new paths in the forest, but aside from the regular routines he had other people to do other things with, to think about. He even forgot to wright pansy a letter on tuesday. The one he had received contained a large amount of cuss words and complaining and unnecessary capitalisation, a rarity for such a sensible woman as pansy. She hadn't been getting along with her parents as of late and draco had to suffer through three pages of her nonsense. At least she had apologised for it at the end. Their owl, Nightwing, seemed grateful for draco letting it stay and rest the night, it had not bitten him in the morning. He resented the bird a little, _cranky little creature_ he often cooed to it. Brenton had chased it around the house much to dracos delight. 

Draco wrote back to pansy on wednesday evening after returning from a flustered night watching some nonsense cooking show pressed up against harry. Still feeling the effects of a few glasses of white, he probably shouldt have apperated in hindsight, he had recommended the show to pansy and confessed his feelings about harry to her. Then, apon prof reading, he had started the letter over. The owl took off with a short parchment and half a dozen rose petals at around twelve thirty am and draco had gone to bed and wanked.

  
  


“Draco has a thing for you,” Luna said. Harry spat his tea across the flower bed he was working on. It was a mild Saturday morning, every now and then the clouds above them would squeeze out a smattering of rain but it never settled into _propper_ rain. The wind was almost absent and Harry and Luna had set out to weed at least one garden bed before it really went to shit. Ginny was at quidditch training, she had looked pleased about the weather when she had set off. 

“Pardon?” Harry asked, setting his mug down and wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. Harry had seen dracos glances and reddened face, he had caught him staring sure, but he wouldn't have put that down to Draco having a _thing_ for him. He would have thought more along the lines of their past, the war and the fact that they were suddenly chumming it up both inside _and_ outside of school. 

“Yeah,” Luna said, she pulled herself out of the garden opposite Harry and made a face at his forehead, “he likes you.” 

Harry shook his head, pulling his shirt up to wipe the dirt off his face. Draco didn't like him, “draco doesn't like me,” harry had a girlfriend, draco knew that, “i have a girlfriend, malfoy knows that,” and besides, harry was pretty sure draco was strait last he checked, “and i'm pretty sure the gits strait.”

“Dracos not a git,” Luna told him, launching herself back into the garden. They had chosen the hardest patch to tackle first. The weather wasn't going to get any better any time soon so they had wanted to tackle the hard stuff and leave the easier ones for when it all went to shit. Harry hoped they might have some spare time after school on monday, luna had planned a day out with some mates tomorrow, they were going to see a film and bake bread or something at amanda's house. Her parents were professionals apparently, luna had been trying to get into cooking recently. “Besides, he really likes you, I think he's liked you for a while actually.”

Harry pulled a dandelion out rather aggressively, the leaves separating from the roots. He grunted and started digging into the tough soil with his fingers. “How long is your ‘while’ luna?” he asked, grasping the roots and tugging them free. Dirt flicked up into his face and he spat it at the ground. He saw some of it sinking into his tea and moaned, tipping the cup out. 

“Six or seven years i think,” luna told him, then hummed approvingly at a bean shoot that had somehow found itself amongst the night shades and leathery, leafy vegetables. Harry laughed at her a little curly, and sat back on his haunches. That just couldn't be right, back at Hogwarts they had despised each other, properly hated to the point of cursing and physically maiming the other. It hadn't been a relationship you could put _crushing_ as a label to. It had been cruel and tormenting and Harry couldn't picture Malfoy as thinking of him in that way. Sure, Lately his actions were vaguely reminiscent of an awed teen looking at a star athlete, like they wanted to be them, or be with them, but Harry had been trying not to think of the possibility that Draco bloody Malfoy had _feelings_ for him. It would complicate everything, and he really didn't want _complicated_ to be in his life anymore. 

“I'm with Ginny,” Harry told her sternly, “we’re happy together, Malfoy knows that.” 

Luna sighed. She looked at Harry gently, brushing off her hands on her pants to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, "I'm sure draco is aware of that," she said, "I'm not saying you have to do anything, I just think it's good for you to be aware." She didn't wait for Harry to acknowledge her and went back to weeding, "so you don't hurt one another," harry added the word _anymore_ to the end of that, although Luna hadn't meant it in that way. 

_So they wouldn't hurt each other anymore_

Harry supposed that was fair, enough damage had been done on either side. No reason to continue the massacre. And he had maybe gotten a little flustered at the confirmation that draco odd behaviour held merit, Harry felt that too was fair. 

Harry dusted himself off and collected their mugs. He looked at Luna for a long moment. "Thank you," he said finally, "Luna, really." 

She looked up and grinned at Harry and he offered her another mug of tea.

  
  


They were feeding off each other. Harry was suddenly aware of draco, like a new zit he couldn't stop touching he found himself glancing up whenever he moved. He knew where draco was at all times, when he entered the room and where he sat and who he spoke to. He felt slightly suspicious in an irrational way. Harry knew Draco was different, that he had changed a great deal after the war, that he hadn't _really_ meant anyone any harm, that his hand had been forced for the most part. And Harry thought he too had moved on, that he could maybe.. not forgive, but accept and understand better what draco had been going through back then. He resented Draco for that in a way, that he had been allowed to move on and pass off everything he had done as childhood mistakes. If he had been four or five years older draco would be in for a prison sentence next to his father, but he had gotten lucky. Harry knew those were cruel and unfair thoughts, but old habits die hard as it turned out, and Harry was back to resenting and watching draco.

Harry could see how his actions were affecting the other man, the confusion that crossed dracos features when he frowned at something Draco said, the way his cheeks heated when their eyes held for a moment too long, he knew watching him in such a way wasn't healthy for anyone. When draco came over to explore a new animal trail luna had found on wednesday night, the turn of the seasons, harry had tried his hardest to ignore him as if it would counter the over attentiveness draco had been on the receiving end of all week. but If anything it had fueled his fire, the next day another partnered potions assignment was given out and draco had been at his elbow. Harry had said yes, Sean and Lavender had gotten together some time on the weekend at a small house party and were doing everything together, Harry found it a little disturbing. He was almost grateful for draco providing an alternative.

Friday night rolled around and they had prepared the first half of the doubling potion they were brewing, it was a two day process so Mis V had given the assignment on a Thursday, no less blunt about shutting down the begrudging moans and excuses flip flopped around the room. They were getting trouble from the government, funding was being funneled into other areas and ingredients weren't getting any cheaper so partnerships was the way to go about stretching their stock. The storage cupboard had looked pretty full to Harry, but he didn't say anything.

Draco passed him a petite glass of borgans brandy, rose petals and ice cubes swirling around in the bottom. Harry was sitting on one of the little chairs on dracos porch resting his ankle on his knee comfortably, his favorite black jacket smelt of smoke and that dusty herbal scent cleaning charms leave behind. He smiled tightly at draco as he took the glass and thanked him politely, watching him sit. Although he was trying his best to present as comfortable he felt quite the opposite. Harry was nervous and tense around Draco, like he was anticipating Draco making a pass. He hadn't gotten as far as to imagine his response yet, and he didn't really want to think about it. He stared at the darkening skyline, the sun long since disappeared behind the trees.

Harry saw draco twitch in his peripheral vision, his mouth was opening and closing like he was short of breath as he searched for some words to say. When none came he took a sip of brandy and looked down into his lap. Harry took a swig from his own glass and set it down on the floor to pick at the skin around his thumb nail that had been annoying him all day. _This is awkward_ , Harry thought. 

"What, ah.. what music do you like?" Draco asked out of the blue. Harry frowned at him almost pittingly. draco turned away embarrassed and drank from his glass. 

"Uh, west witches I suppose," Harry decided on humoring Draco's little whims, it was actually kind of amusing seeing him so flustered, such a change from the cocky little twat back at hogwarts. He sat up straighter in his chair and picked up his glass, "I usually just listen to triple j on the radio though."

"Thats a muggle station isn't it?" Draco more stated than asked. Harry raised an eyebrow at him and draco shrugged. 

"I didn't think you knew anything muggle,"

"I've been educated in some things," draco countered, "there's a pub near the aparation point called kelly's-"

"Yeah, I know the one," Harry cut him off grinning stupidly suddenly, "you've been there?"

Draco looked almost smug, "once or twice, the atmosphere's quite welcoming." 

Kelly's was a little pub on the corner of a cross road, parkland burst over the pavement across the road on one side and there was an old abandoned theatre next door most people smoked in. Harry caught up with Hermione and Ron there sometimes on Friday night's, at school they mostly just chatted about school work so it was nice to go out for a few drinks and talk rubbish. Kelly's was one of those warm orange lamp lit pubs, burgundy couches and small splintered coffee tables littered the walls and tacky fake plants in vases by a tiny platform for small bands or solo musicians. Harry pictured draco standing by the tight dance floor holding a glass of beer and tapping along to the rhythm while sweaty niche hipsters bumbled around half baked and drunk. He tried to imagine him interacting with the staff and other patrons, he almost managed it. It was a funny sight, but Harry was becoming used to these little conjured scenes of draco.

"When do you go out? I never see you out!" Harry laughed, and it was true. Draco was a rare sight out in public, much less in muggle streets. Harry wondered if he explored any other muggle areas.

"No, I suppose i don't go out very often," draco confessed quietly. Harry picked out a note of sadness and his grin slipped. It was understandable actually now that Harry looked at him. What with the trials and his father and the press's vicious attack on his family, dracos sharp, pale and pointy features stuck out. Harry knew the glances and the stairs and the whispers better than anyone, and he knew how hard it was to look past it all. Draco had always been weak to the public's susception of him, he was weak to alot of things. Harry felt cruel for even thinking that.

"We should go out then," Harry said, picking up his glass, draco made a noise. He looked up at him as he took a sip, draco was wide eyed and red and it struck harry suddenly what he had said, he coughed into his glass, "I mean, the group, the uh, our little study table, to Kelly's," he spluttered, trying to make up ground for whatever line he had crossed. He emptied his glass and draco followed suit. 

"No, yes I mean, yeah we should uh," draco looked at him and their eyes met, he was very red, "we should go out."

Harry nodded. It was dangerous ground he was treading. He felt like perhaps humering draco had been the wrong move, perhaps he should have done his potions assignment with someone else. But he was too far into it now and his mouth was running away from him,

"Ron and 'mione and I were going to catch up there Sunday night because of the government budget cuts and the student free day monday and what not," what was he doing? Harry picked at his nail and winced, the sticky feeling of blood touched his fingers, "I'll rope in Luna and Sean and prue and we can make a night of it." 

Draco watched harrys hands, nodding along to the nonsense Harry was spewing, "Sunday night? Sounds good" he said more confidently than he felt, "do you want a bandage?" 

Harry looked down. It was worse than it felt, the bleeding around his cuticles was pooling and looked terrible. What a terrible habit Harry had to stop, it was a nervous twitch of sorts he had developed, he hardly noticed he was doing it most of the time. He examined his rough hands, trying to see them from draco's point of view. Untidy and torn and calloused, he looked tough Harry supposed. 

"Yes, actually, that would be nice," Harry mumbled as draco got up, already heading inside. _A good segway_ Harry thought stupidly. He followed him into the kitchen, setting his glass down on the sink and washing his hands while draco rooted through a draw. He produces a little plastic pack of fabric bandaids, muggle brand from a pharmacy. Harry smiled at them, so draco did explore muggle streets. draco passed him a towel to dry off, the bleeding wasn't bad any more, it had mostly stopped actually. But Harry watched draco tear open the little packet with his slender fingers and obediently held out his hand. The soft pads of malfoys fingers held him gently as he wrapped the bandage around the tiny wound and pressed the sticky material down firmly, smoothing it over his finger. Draco couldn't look Harry in the eye, he was pretending to concentrate on the bandaid as he held Harry's hand in his own, smothering Harry's fingers between his warm palms. Harry watched him curiously, experimenting with how far draco was willing to push their unsure relationship. It was a cruel and useless game of chicken that would end with them getting hurt that Harry couldn't quite help himself but to play. It excited him, some disgusting, twisted part of his being felt glee that he was finally able to inflict some karma, to torment Draco as he had done to Harry all those years ago. 

Draco looked up finally and caught Harry's eye, he tore his hands away hastily and sort of stumbled backwards half a step, bracing himself against the kitchen bench behind him. While Draco busied himself with putting the box of bandaids away Harry slipped towards the front door. He watched draco pull the curtains open which Harry found weird for the hour, most other people were closing theirs by now to keep the heat in. Or maybe he was like ginny, setting his alarm by sunrise. Harry liked that idea, he saw Draco as a dusk-and-dawn person, thriving on that red orange glow like a lizard thrives in the sun. There was a little blue flower in a vase he recognised on the windowsill. Harry smiled at it, it was the same kind of flowers he gave ginny because they matched her eyes. Come to think of it, they matched draco's eyes too. 

"I'm gonna get going, ginny's cooking tonight" harry told draco as he picked up his bag and buttoned his jacket, "I'll see you tomorrow, seven thirty yeah?" 

Draco closed the draw a little harder than was necessary, his facial expression was near impossible to read, he almost looked constipated. ,"or you can, if you want i mean," he started and Harry knew where that sentence was going to end. Draco starred a little helplessly, mouth open as he debated weather to speak the words. Harry watched him expectantly, cocking an eyebrow.

"You could, uh, stay.. For the night?" Draco looked unsure of himself, and Harry's heart did a little jump of excitement which he swatted down. These feelings of cruel excitement that came from draco's discomfort weren't healthy, he should just go quickly.

"I mean, if you want to, " Draco tried filling the silence, "saves you the trip in the morning..." he was drumming his fingers on his thigh awkwardly. Harry watched his hands but he supposed draco must have thought he was looking somewhere else because he took in a sharp breath, "No, never mind, that's stupid-" 

"I'll stay," Harry cut him off, kicking himself the moment the words left him. What was he thinking? Really, what could possibly be achieved by staying the night at draco malfoy's little unit? Draco was staring at him a little stupidly, not really sure what was happening. He looked.. gleeful. Harry's stomach dropped, he was going too far with this game of chicken but there didn't seem to be any breaks to it either, he was just a passenger in his fucked up alter egos cart watching the world hurtle past. He heard himself ask about dinner, watched his hands place his bag on the ground and unbutton his jacket, his body sat on a chair opposite the blond, he saw Draco smile more confidently as he chatted something about leftover lentils. It was surreal, it was a dream. 

Draco pulled a pot of lentils he'd made for dinner last night out of the fridge and set it on the stove top, waving at it to turn the burner on. Harry was acting differently, he was kinder to draco now and for a moment there draco had thought maybe he shared his feelings, but he had batted the thought down quickly. Still, it was hard not to let his hopes pick up a little. Harry was saying something about Kelly's, draco saw him tapping at one of those black handheld muggle devices with his thumbs. He'd been into a telephone shop once, Apple, what an odd name for a telephone. The whole experience had been altogether overwhelming and he had left quickly without buying anything. He bent over the bench to watch Harry use the device, it was a complicated process with a lot of flat glowing buttons, he read the word _Hermione_ off the screen.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked, he felt that casual questions were acceptable now, given everything. 

"Texting hermione," 

Draco had heard about texting, virtual mail sent instantly between devices. He'd asked pansy about it in their letters but her family was rather conservative and she didn't think they'd approve of her purchasing muggle technology. He'd told her it would make their conversations so much easier but there was a bit of nostalgia and romance in owl mail so he hadn't pressed too much. He had a new freedom that pansy and some of the other conservator puebloods didn't, without the guidance of his family and with the disdain of the wizarding world draco was free to explore as he wished, and muggle things were suddenly a whole lot less forign. Watching Harry use a phone made him curious about getting one himself, it couldn't be that hard if potter was able to use it. 

Draco hummed appreciatively at Harry, noting the stubble on his chin that made him look rugged and the loose hairs that escaped his hair tie. He was very attractive. Draco tore his eyes away and stirred the lentils. He pulled out his nicer bowls from the cupboard. 

"Are you particularly hungry?" He asked, looking over his shoulder to find Harry openly staring at him. His face heated, the intimacy of the situation he found himself in was overwhelming. Cooking, in his house, for an attractive man who was sitting in his kitchen watching him. God he was so stupid. He had let his guard down too often around too many people as of late, and although it was nice and it was relaxing, it also left him so vulnerable. He hated that aspect of relationships. 

Harry shrugged, "I suppose the regular amount of hungry," he said, slipping out of his jacket for the first time that night. The green knitted sweater was too tight on him, it hugged his body and showed off his thin waist in a way that almost made him look feminine, or maybe it was the low neckline, except he had strong arms and a broad chest and shoulders and draco spent a moment too long pondering what it would be like to fit his body against harrys. The sweater was a shade deeper than that of his eyes, it really suited him. 

"The _regular_ amount of hungry," Draco parroted, filling the bowls to what he'd consider a regular amount. What kind of measurement was that anyway. Draco fished out a pair of spoons from the draw, borgons brandy caught his eye sitting on the counter top nearby. He supposed that might help move the night along.

  
  
  


Jordan was waiting for him in the library. He had a spare period and dracos divination professor was I'll with dragon pocks. There were a few students studying quietly between the rows of bookshelves but it was otherwise empty for a friday third period. Draco and jordans prefered spot was on the outskirts of the shelves, the dimmer part of the library that held books on advanced gardening spells and other useless junk school students weren't interested in. There was a small table against the cool stone wall and a torch bracket nestled above it, although it didn't contain a torch anymore. Jordan did a good lumos charm, producing warm gentle light that shone for ages. Draco sat down next to him, bumping his knee against jordans. He placed his bag on the ground leaning against the table leg and pulled out his divination book and a roll of parchment. Jordans hands were hot, he'd been scribbling away at some charm assignment, when he cupped dracos chin and pulled him in for a kiss. Their lips met gently, slotting together, and draco sank into it like a bee in honey. 

"Hi," Jordan breathed into his mouth. He slid his thumb along dracos jaw and ran his fingers through his hair sending shivers down dracos spine.

"Hi," draco hummed, leaning forward for another kiss. Jordans chin was scratchy and rough against Draco's face, pansy had asked about the faint rash on dracos jaw last week and since then he had invested in some lovely skin lotion. He appreciated Jordan for keeping them a secret. He wasn't sure what they were, boyfriends, lovers, an affair, labels didn't seem to suit, the only one Draco had been adamant on was _secret_. He knew one day it would become an issue, but for now Jordan didn't mind. He was far more mature than he looked, he acted with careful measured movements and considered his words carefully. Draco mostly did the same, but his reasons for doing so came from a place of pride and malice while jordans came from genuine care for others and a good natured soul. They would never have matched well out in the open, observed by everyone, but separate to the world, the few stolen and understood moments they had together was a manageable amount of time draco was glad for. It provided some relief from the endless piles of stress that was building. He hoped one day he might get to be open about his sexuality, hold his partner's hand in public confidently, but for now this would have to make do.

Jordan slid a hand over dracos thigh and squeezed it firmly. It was a form of nonverbal communication they’d developed. Some glances across the great hall during meals meant _see you soon?_ others said _these people are idiots, I'm suffering._ sometimes they would make eye contact across the yard and within minutes would be chatting and giggling somewhere safe and quiet together, be it in empty classrooms or bathrooms or alcoves in the castle's walls. The thigh squeeze translated to _will I see you tonight?_ Draco ran his hand over jordans chest, pulled playfully on his tie to draw him into a deeper kiss, slipping his tongue between his lips. He tucked his hand into the crook of his neck. The yes was silent.

  
  


“Ok, alright, so these three never actually cook anything right?” draco looked completely baffled, he waved his empty glass at the T.V, “what audacity! They just judge everyone's meals!” he hollered. Harry and Draco were well on their way through the bottle of bourbon, tucked up next to one another on the couch watching masterchef. It was a nice little couch, draco had bought it thinking the cream colour would match the rest of his living room well but as it turned out the style was completely off. It was too plump and rounded for the rest of the decorations and articles in the little room but hadn't been culled yet for something more stylish because it was so tremendously comfortable. It was a luxurious two seater, perfect for laying down with your head on one arm rest, and more than big enough for two people. Yet somehow Draco had found himself half on Harry's cushion pressed up against his side unashamedly yelling at the television where a large man was scolding his new favourite chef for over cooking a piece of meat. In any other state, a sober state for instance, draco would be ashamed of such an outburst. But he felt lightheaded and stupid and confident. 

Harry looked at him skeptically, laughing at dracos distress, “it's a competition, there has to be judges,” he tried to explain, “although im sure if these people had insanely rich parents they might be allowed some exemptions..” he trailed off, smirking at draco rudely. 

“I resent that accusation,” draco protested, leaning forward tediously to set his glass down on the little coffee table. He flopped back half into Harry's lap and tried not to look sulky. His shoulder was pressed against something hard under Harry's sweater, he slid off his lap and reached out to touch the form through the fabric. "What's this?" He asked, forgetting the stupid show playing nonchalantly in the background. 

Harry reached down his top and pulled at the chain around his neck, presenting a coiled snake carved out of some sort of white material. "It's a bassisk carved out of one's tooth," he grinned, turning it around this way and that, "pretty cool ay?" 

Draco had to agree, it was pretty cool. Everyone knew about the basakisk that had lived under the school for however many years, that harry had fucking _killed_ it with a goddamn sword like a bloody medieval _knight._ It was actually pretty _hot_ that he wore a necklace of the thing around his neck, draco reached out to hold Harry's hand still so he could examine the little details, tiny intricate scales and sharp teeth and mean eyes, it was beautiful and haunting. 

"Did you make it?" 

"No, actually it's Ron's fine work," Harry said. 

Draco laughed, "so weasley _does_ have talent!" 

"Yes, actually, he has many," Harry pulled his hand away and looked at draco squarely, tucking the necklace back into his sweater. Draco dropped the smirk, he hadn't meant anything by it, he had just been joking around really. 

"I mean, I'm sure he's got many," he mumbled, "I was just poking fun. Actually, I think it's pretty hot that you wear that," oh god there it was. He'd said too much, he was too drunk to be sitting so close, his hand was still resting on Harry's chest. He should move it, but his fingers were tightening on the material and the way Harry's eyes were staring right through his, the way his cheeks were pink from booze and his hair was roughed up, made draco feel funny inside. 

"Can I kiss you?" He spoke the words quietly, Harry didn't react. He was still watching draco, his expression mild terror or excitement, draco couldn't pick. Without any real thought he took a wild leap into the unknown and pulled Harry forward. Draco closed his eyes as their lips connected, warm and gentle against each other. Harry didn't move, he seemed frozen for a long moment that stretched out even further when draco tried to deepen the kiss, slipping his tongue into the heat of his mouth.

  
  
  


"I thought you were staying at malfoys?" Ginny said. She was scrubbing hard at the bottom of a pot that she’d burnt risotto too. It was no small feat, when ginny cooked something always went wrong but somehow the food came out alright fifty percent of the time. 

"Is there any leftover?" Harry asked, dodging the question. Luna caught his eye, sitting on the floor with the cat on her lap behind the couch. She was wide eyed, shaking her head adamantly. 

"Yeah, there's some in the fridge," Ginny told him pointing with her elbow, "help yourself."

Harry smiled politely, "I might have some for breakfast," he muttered. Harry wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in the crook of her neck, breathing in her toasty smell. Ginny wiggled and made little sounds in her throat, "your nose is cold!" 

"Your necks warm, give me a kiss," Harry complained. Ginny grinned devilishly and turned around, grabbing the sides of his face with wet soapy hands and kissing him roughly on the mouth. Harry laughed and leaned into her, she was so warm he could forgive her for the dirty sudds dripping into the collar of his sweater.

"You taste like booze," Ginny said when Harry finally let her go, "What did you and malfoys get up to?"

Harry turned away and busied himself with putting his jacket on a coat hook, "you think I would be able to get through a full hour of malfoy without alcohol?" He laughed grimly. He picked his bag up from where he'd dumped it when he first got home and avoided Luna's eye as he walked past her to put it away in his room. 

“I'm having a shower, last calls for the loo,” he yelled, pulling his flannel shorts out from the bed frame where they had been wedged. Ginny yelled something affirmative back at him and he stepped into the bathroom, casting a warming spell. The tiled floors were always cold in there. Luna had mushrooms growing in jars next to the bathtub stuck to the walls, they were looking a little sad but neither of them knew how to properly cultivate mushrooms so they were just hoping they might perk up. Harry stripped and kicked his clothes into the corner where they wouldnt get wet and turned the shower on. He examined his body in the mirror while the water heated up, there was nothing special about him. He had a few scars here and there, the gash that ran up his forearm from wrist to elbow pit hadnt healed nicely at all and was still waxy and puckered even after all these years. He thought of malfoys wrist, how it was marked in a similar way but with the curling black ink of a terrible mark. He had caught a glimpse of it earlier, when malfoy rolled his sleeves up to do the dishes after dinner. It had stunned him for some reason, still so vibrant and dark, the mark hadnt faded at all. He had been expecting it to dull, after his death and the years that had passed, he thought it might fade even a little. But there it was, cruel and harsh and black as ever. It disgusted harry.

The mirror fogged up and his reflection blurred and he stepped under the hot spray, allowing it to sooth his tense muscles. Harry had let Malfoy kiss him. He had heard draco whisper the question, like a little bird, and seen him lean in. yet he hadn't stopped him. Malfoys lips were softer than ginnys, but cold from the ice in his drink and they tasted like bourbon and bitter unbrushed teeth. Harry had let malfoy cling to his shirt like he might fall away. But when he felt that wet tongue slip between his lips and slide over his teeth he had snapped out of whatever trance he had been under. Harry pulled away, his brows furrowed seriously with great concern, and draco tried to follow him. The blonde leaned in, planting wet open mouthed kisses against his jaw. Harry had to push him off, sobering up quickly. He excused himself and collected his things methodically and left draco sitting embarrassed on his sad mismatched couch. 

The spray was hot, turning his skin red. It felt nice though, such a contrast to dracos cool house and cold body and chilling touch. Harry had started walking towards the main road from Draco's house after he had left, not trusting himself to apparate in his state. He had been shaking and was still a little drunk and his nails were quickly disappearing. He got there and turned to the direction he thought his house might be, but hailed the first carriage that rattled past and let them deliver him home. 

Harry sat under the spray of the shower, he dug his thumbs into his eyelids and hugged his knees to his chest. What had he been thinking? He shouldn't have let Malfoy do that, he should have turned away sooner, he should have left when he first said he would. He should never have sought out to inflict karma, he shouldnt have done his potions assignment with a fucking death eater, he should have just ignored malfoy from the start. Maybe then everything would be alright.

There came a knock from the door and Ginny barged in stumbling over Harry's pile of clothes. She launched herself at the toilet and dropped her shorts.

“Sorry to barge in, I said I needed to go earlier,” she announced, glancing at Harry who was still sitting in the bottom of the bathtub under the spray of the shower. “Jeez that's hot harry, you're red,” 

He shrugged, trying to look at his shoulders. His chest where his knees had been pressed against were pale against the burnt looking flesh around it. “It's nice and warm, you should join me,” he responded.

Ginny examined him carefully. He hated it when she did that, it was like she was trying to read his mind. And although she didn't have half the observational divination skills as luna she almost always read him correctly. Harry tried to look fine, like he was just chilling in the bathtub under scalding water, but she wasn't having any of it.

“What's wrong?” ginny asked. She flushed the loo and kicked her shorts off and slipped out of her shirt. Wincing Ginny stepped into the tub and under the water, settling in next to Harry, his body scalding besides her own. “Did Malfoy do something?” 

Harry was lost for words, he wasn't really sure where to start. It felt like a huge secret, malfoys feelings about him and the way Harry had been reacting. He looked at her but found that too intense, so he rested his head on her shoulder and told her everything. He told her about luna in the garden, about draco at school, about potions class and dracos cat and the bourbon they had drank and draco cooking fucking lentils of all things. Ginny had laughed at that, it really didn't seem like a draco malfoy sort of food. Harry told ginny about the mark he’d seen on draco's arm, that he still had it, that it hadn't faded like _he_ was still, at least in part, alive. Harry felt helpless for a moment, like it had all been for nothing if there was still parts of voldemort in the world.

“But it isn't him, Harry,” Ginny tried reassuring, “he's dead, Voldemort died and those marks left are just that, souvenirs of poor life choices.” Ginny rested her head on harrys, her hair fell into his face, plasted there by the water. 

“I know, gin, I killed him,” Harry whispered. His voice came out hoarse as his throat was tight, Harry had cried a little, thinking back to all of it. “It was just, shocking, seeing it right there in such a casual setting,” he picked at his nails and ginny reached out, holding his hands still to stop him, “makes you wonder how many other murderers have mooved on, whether there are death eaters out there, fucking i don't know, like gardening or something,” he breathed, feeling exasperated and tired. 

Ginny nodded, cooing at him gently like a wounded puppy, “as much as i'd like to see everyone punished for the terrible things they do, you have to know people move on and change,” she kissed the top of his head tenderly and added in a whisper, “surely you can understand.”

Harry read between the lines, _you, of all people, can understand,_ and he leaned into ginny and hugged her and cried into her shoulder. 

“Is that why you left? The mark upset you?” 

Harry thought about malfoys cold wet kiss, and about how tender Ginny was. He didn't want to hurt her, or for her to think anything less of him, that he could just mouth off at draco for being a murdering death eater and then confess to letting draco kiss him. What a confusing contradiction. Harry left it as it was, he nodded into ginny's shoulder and she rubbed his back and laughed at him for being an idiot.


	4. sunday night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> assault and violence

Now he'd done it, he’d really gone and fucked things up for himself. Draco fucking malfoy was showing the bored bouncer his muggle id, looking confused at every single action the man made. He nodded and said something as he stepped past, and the bouncer gave him a strained smile, looking just as confused as draco. He looked around and caught Harry's eye and smiled at him nervously, making his way over.

It was actually a busy night, Kellys had a special two for one deal on drinks supporting some fundraiser and a crowd of people had flocked. Busy, for Kellys, wasn't actually that busy. But if there were people dancing and enough noise that only the beat of the drums could be heard over laughing patrons it was considered just about packed to regulars. Harry, Hermione and Ron were regulars as it turned out. One of the staff, belinda, had taken a liking to ron and always made an effort to chat to him. She thought he was forign because he didn't really understand anything muggle and it always amused hermione.

They had arrived at eight oclock together when it was still quiet, the pub didn't really pick up until ten. Their favourite booth was free and their favourite barmaid bella, that's what she insisted they call her, had taken their orders. Harry remembered the first time Ron went to kelleys, he tried to order a butter-beer and was a little stunned that the staff didn't know what that was. Not he just ordered whatever was on tap, or got Hermione to order for him, playing it safe. He was a good source of entertainment.

“I owled Draco and Prue, they both got back to me that they would come,” Hermione had said after Bella left their table with their orders. Sean had a phone, a little flip phone from the 1800s it looked like, he was proud of his high score on snake. Harry had texted him and hermione on friday night, and to his horror sean had been available and was bringing lavender. The two of them were grossly happy together. Prue was another local girl, she had a pure blood line but they were more like the weasleys, kind and funny and a little bit modern. Her family liked to keep up with the latest wizarding fashion, and after robes went out and denim made its appearance in the wizarding world she was a mess of terrible double clad attire. Harry had been to her house once, it was nice. He approved of her addition to their little friend group wholeheartedly.

Draco malfoy, on the other hand, was another case. Yes, it had been in part his fault that draco was now joining their study table and chatting with his friends and going out with them, but in light of everything that was going on harry was really resenting it. He hadnt returned saturday morning to finish the potion with draco, luna had tried to make him go but ginny had stuck up for him. Harry thought it was kind of an unspoken agreement that draco would finish the potion without him, and probably wouldn't come sunday night. However Hermione had sent an owl sunday morning double checking he was available and Draco, the bloody git, had replied eloquently confirming he would make an appearance. It was both a blessing and a curse that hermione was so well organised. 

“Malfoys a git,” Ron mumbled, he and Harry shared a little smirk and Hermione kicked Ron's leg under the table. 

“He’s not that bad anymore,” she defended, “you do potions with him harry, he's alright isn't he?” she looked at him earnestly and harry had to agree, on a whole malfoy was actually alright. He could do without the pining and the awkward glances maybe, and perhaps he had egged some of that on. But

“Sure, yeah, he's not terrible,” Harry agreed. Ron shrugged at them, indifferent. Prue arrived at the door and confounded the bouncer, she didn't have a muggle id but she was a great shit talker and had a genuine personality. Prue had been the one to show harry and hermione kellys, she went there with other locals. Prue shared a lot of Hermione's classes and they became really close quickly. Harry suspected Hermione was starting to prefer prue to him and Ron teased her about it often. but it was nice seeing her happy.

The two of them chatted and when their drinks came prue pinched rons and gave him a cheeky grin. Hermione told him to harden up and Ron and Harry went to the bar to get another round before the place got too busy. When they returned to the table Sean and Lav were there and Ron had to get another chair. Harry sat next to Hermione and watched as a large group of uni kids filled in, talking loudly. They made a beeline for the bar and draco malfoy stepped up to the bouncer awkwardly, said something stupid probably and made eyecontact with him. And Harry knew he'd really fucked things up for himself.

Ron noticed Harry's expression change and looked over his shoulder to the door, “malfoys here,” he declared, looking around the table. Sean gave him a wave, grinning stupidly, and lavender stuck a finger in Sean's ear. They were an odd couple. 

Hermione kicked Ron again, “go get another chair,” she hissed at him. He tried to complain but decided it would be easier to just do as he was told. He raised an eyebrow at Harry sceptically, and Harry smirked as Ron went to fetch another chair before they were all taken. 

Draco coughed into his fist, “good evening,” he said to the table, “may i sit here?” he indicated to the seat opposite to harry where ron had just been. Harry looked at Ron, who had been caught by Bella in a conversation. He looked flustered, she was saying something about driving and ron was telling her the story of their train escape. She found him hysterical.

“Yeah, go ahead,” Hermione said, moving rons half empty beer. Draco slid into the seet, hanging his little black bag off it. He was wearing a simple grey shirt, the wooden buttons done up to his throat, and his hair wasn't slicked back like usual. It looked damp, dracos skin was fresh, he'd just had a shower. Harry thought he looked less pointy and dicky with his hair down. Draco smiled at Harry and tapped his foot with his own under the table. 

"Hello," he said, searching Harry's face for any clue of what he was thinking. Harry nodded to him, his expression blank. He wasn't sure how to act, draco was so casual and normal, he had to wonder if it had all been a dream. He touched his lips absentmindedly, thinking back to Friday, draco followed his fingers with wide eyes, his smile wavered to a look of awe. Harry skulled the rest of his drink.

"I'm going to get another beer, anyone else?" He stood to a chorus of orders and patted Ron who was returning with a chair on the back as he passed. He needed some space, from draco and from his thoughts. It seemed he could only do that through getting high recently. That was an issue Harry thought he might address some time in the future, for now he was focused on getting tipsy. The first drinks were settling into his stomach, he'd had a few sandwiches for dinner. Ginny was off training early tomorrow so she hadn't come tonight, much to Harry's pleading, and Luna was staying the week at her father's. Harry felt a little lost around draco without Luna to help translate his feelings. Harry was never really sure of either his nor dracos, he could barely read ginny's mood half the time. Harry placed his order at the bar, certain he was fucking up half of it.

Someone bumped against harry's elbow and he didn't think much of it, then dracos smooth voice drawled in his ear, "You didn't get my order," 

Harry flinched away and the lady making the drinks raised an eyebrow at him. Harry had seen her a few times, she was a devil at juggling bottles and had a cheeky grin plastered on her face most of the time. Her name was Lauren or Laura or something. Harry nodded at draco and gestured to her.

"Just a gin and tonic," draco ordered politely , suddenly looking a whole lot less smug than earlier. They waited awkwardly, the noise of the band and the patrons humming away in Harry's head. He looked across at draco and found him to be staring, his elbows rested on the bar he was twirling a straw between his fingers.

"Listen, about Friday," draco started. Harry winced and looked away, turning his body from dracos. Laura finished the drinks and slid a tray across the bar. Harry gave her a fifty and she spun up the change. 

"Harry, look I d-" draco tried to continue and Harry picked up the tray and all but ran away back to the table. It was childish, sure, and he knew they would have to have that conversation one day, but he just didn't want to have it right then. Harry passed out the drinks, and sure enough had gotten them mostly wrong but they didn't complain much because he had paid. Harry resented Malfoy for his feelings. Why couldn't he have acted on them back at hogwarts? Why did he have the right to tourcher him all through his school experience and then come out the other end deciding  _ no actually, i like you _ ? There was no sense to it.

Draco sat down opposite Harry and held out his hand full of the change he'd left behind. Harry thanked him, reaching out for draco to drop the change into his palm. Maybe he could go back to ignoring draco, like they did through the first three semesters of school. But the seal had been opened and turning back wasn't really an option anymore. Hermione had gotten into a heated argument over broom physics with Ron and Sean, and it didn't look like her logic and educational reasoning was going to win against their stupid sports brained understanding of the best shape for a handle, or something. Lav and prue were chatting quietly together about something secretive at the end of the table, whispering every so often into each other's ears and giggling like children. Lav was holding Sean's hand in her lap, her skirt bunched up in his fingers. Harry turned away from them. 

"I finished the potion,'' Draco told harry. He looked at the blond. Harry really wanted to reach across the table and oil his hair back, he looked too casual and.. clean with it down. "It came out really well actually," draco continued. Harry hadn't asked, he thought about telling draco that, but thought against it since he had left draco with all the work. Then thought better of that and went for the throat.

"Do you want a fucking sticker?" Harry asked, clenching his class, "good on you," he muttered taking a sip. Ron laughed loudly at something Sean said and Harry tried to pay attention to their convo, trying to ignore draco.

"What's wrong with you?" Draco hissed, bending across the table ,"you didn't exactly help much for the second day of brewing," 

Harry turned back to him, Ron was getting too far into broom science anyway and Harry found himself looking forward to a row with Draco, "oh, gee, I wonder why," he mumbled, glaring at draco. 

"I thought.." Draco started but stopped when harry looked around the table skeptically, "you're so fucking.. capricious!," he was visibly frustrated, "one day you'll treat me like a human the next I'm back to being less than dirt, just fucking pick one!" 

Harry threw his head back and chuckled cruely, "im not the fickle one here," he sneered, "You can just go from school boy to death eater and back again in a few short years," he leaned forward, "how's that for fucking  _ capricious _ ?"Sean was watching him from the other end of the table where lav was pulling at his arm asking him to dance. Prue was taking Hermione's side of the broomstick argument and Ron kept on glancing at Harry for backup.

"That's what this is about? seriously?," draco looked hurt and harry knew he'd gone too far, draco could see the regret on his face, "You know that's unfair. Not everythings as black and white as you think it is!" He snarled, gripping the edge of the table hard enough his knuckles were white. Harry picked at his fingers. Sean finally caved in and let lavender pull him to his feet, he threw Harry one last concerned glance which was brushed off before he left. 

“I'm sorry, that was a bit left field,” Harry muttered, he picked apart a cardboard coaster, glaring at the little fibers on the table top. 

“And for the record-” draco leaned in closer, growling through his teeth. He was fuming, the reality of what Harry was accusing him of. Like he had chosen everything, like this is where he had wanted to end up, like he had no fucking  _ right  _ to have moved on and change as a person. But he didn't get to finish his thought. Harry took a deep swig of his drink and pushed to his feet, the chair sliding backwards aggressively. He stormed from the table. 

Hermione turned to look at draco, the smug smirk dropping from her face. She watched Harry shoulder past a group of teenagers. Ron glared at Draco and went to say something but Hermione kicked him. She was far more accepting of draco, she seemed to understand him a little. draco liked talking with her, but he didn't like the look she had on her face then.

“What happened?” she asked, trying to catch dracos eye. He shrugged, formulating a good response that wouldn't offend Harry or further himself as the bad guy. Fucking potter had been the one insuling him, hed even apologised… Draco hadn't fully processed that Harry had actually apologised. And so suddenly, he hadn't expected that.

“Potter doesn't seem to accept that i've changed,” he summed the argument up, sipping from his drink. 

  
  


Laura poured Harry a pair of shots and watched him down them skeptically. She raised an eyebrow, “having a good night then are you?” she asked but was called away swiftly to serve another customer. Harry slipped onto a free stool before someone else pinched it and listened to the hubbub. An older man was yelling a toast to the fundraiser and there was a little roar from the small crowd gathered in front of him. Harry could see sean and lavender making out to the side of the little dance floor, his hand was up her skirt, god they were terrible. 

The booze was really sinking in, he could feel its buzz in the corners of his eyes, it made him unsteady as it settled in his stomach and he needed to pee. He crept off the stool and stumbled as his feet hit the floor. It never did take much for him to get drunk. He needed to pee and he wanted to have a smoke, his nails were really suffering from the night out, he had to shove his hands in his pockets to stop from chewing on them. Harry worked his way to the bathroom, gripping the door frame for some comfort while he waited for a few men to leave, he never liked peeing next to others. 

God he had been an idiot, saying that shit. And looking back on everything Harry was forced to agree he had been a little on the fence about where he stood with his and malfoys relationship. Maybe Draco was just a sight drunker than he seemed on Friday, he hadn't exactly  _ assaulted  _ Harry, he'd just kissed him. Harry could see the confusion, he'd been teasing him leading up to the kiss and was now blaming him for it, that was unfair. Harry just needed to explain everything and it would all be set right. He was feeling confident, standing there in the restroom as a urinal freed up, Harry thought he would go have a chat to draco. Then on Tuesday night when Ginny was home and rested, she was always cranky right after training sessions, he would tell her about Malfoy kissing him and that they had cleared everything up and it would all be fine. He would probably cook dinner as well just in case she got annoyed at him for egging malfoy on.

He zipped up his pants and washed his hands with a bit too much soap, the water from the faucets was freezing. There was no paper towel and the hand dryer took far too long to turn on so Harry wiped his hands dry on his pants idily. He turned to leave and there was Draco malfoy standing in the doorway looking far calmer than earlier. 

A perfect opportunity away from his friends eyes to sweep the whole mess up under a rug, stomp the flames out before they set fire to the whole building. harry figured it was better the others didn't know about the kiss, it would save draco the embarrassment and then everything could go back to how it was, relatively normal. 

“Friday night-” 

“Listen, about fri-” They spoke over each other, Harry laughed and draco looked somewhat relieved. He had been trying to come up with an excuse all night for the kiss; he was drunk, he slipped, it didn't mean anything. But they all sounded weak so finally he decided just telling Harry the truth would be easiest. And harry was a relatively reasonable person, he probably wouldnt be too weirded out about draco having a crush on him. A middle aged man with sleeve tattoos and a massive white beard gave them an odd look as he pushed past, not bothering to wash his hands. 

Draco softened up around the edges when he spoke again, “ah, I shouldn't have kissed you,” they were alone in the bathroom now but it was neither more or less awkward than before. The noise from the pub was drifting in from under the door and there was a tacky pop song playing through the speakers in the bathroom. It wasn't exactly the location either of them had in mind for this conversation, but it was better now than never. "I just, ya know, I guess I like you." Draco confessed, searching Harry's face for a for a sign of what he was thinking. Harry leaned against the wall and grinned politley, he was light headed and the syllables he spoke mashed together a little. 

“Its fine, really draco, it's fiinne,” he reached out and touched his arm in what he hoped was a reassuring way, "Luna figured it out and told me. I shouldn't have-” he searched for the right words, trying to explain how he was teasing him before the kiss, or that maybe he had been a little on the fence, the bandaid incident was also a bit mean. He couldnt get the words out properly and jumped to the end of the list of things he had done wrong and produced the sentence “i shouldn't have left like that.” 

Dracos eyebrows pulled upwards and he stepped closer, Harry realised he was still holding Draco's arm but it was good for his balance and the wall was cold. It was old, probably the original, brickwork and the fleece of his jacket stuck to it like velcro. He stood up properly using draco's arm to steady himself. 

Harry was clinging to his arm, his cheeks were pink and the corners of his lips were pulled up a little. He was beautiful, in the orange light of the bathroom his skin glowed and his eyes developed a new depth. It was fine, the kiss. Harry said the kiss was fine. Draco felt his chest expand like the air changed, like it was lighter and he could breathe easier. He felt his body relax like he had been tensed up since then. 

“So it's alright if..” draco trailed off, motioning between them nervously feeling a little awkward saying it out loud. that's what Harry had meant surely, he was trying not to let his hopes get the better of him. And then Harry nodded and rocked forward and said softly, ‘it's fine draco, it's all good now.’ and Draco thought how nice it was for Harry to call him by his first name.

Harry was happy it was all cleared up and they could return to normal. Draco leaned in and Harry went to wrap his arms around him, figuring in his not-so-sober state a hug between friends was perfectly acceptable. Except draco ignored everything they just talked through. His lips connected with Harry's firmly and he crowded him into the wall, pressing his body against harrys. He was cold and wet and his chin was scratchy on harrys. He knew now why ginny hated it so much, maybe if he grew a beard like the tattooed man it wouldn't be scratchy but more fluffy, he thought idly. Then Harry snapped back to reality and tried to turn away from draco, grabbing at his body to push him off, but Malfoy wasn't getting the hint. Harry's limbs were weak and he felt loose. Draco followed Harry and his tongue was in his mouth and his teeth were rough against his lips. It was uncomfortable and he opened his mouth to say something but draco slipped his tongue between harrys teeth and thrust it against harrys. The back of his head knocked against the wall, and he grappled at malfoys shirt trying to pryse the taller man off him. Draco broke off the kiss making a wet sucking sound and left Harry with the taste of tonic water and salty pretzels in his mouth. Draco looked listful and almost vacant like his mind was swirling else where, and Harry felt the reason for that look against his hip. 

“Uh, draco, i think yo-” harry tried to explain breathlessly that he had it all wrong, that this isn't what he had meant by  _ its fine _ . He pushed off the wall arching his body to move draco away from sucking his face since his arms were so tired. Draco pressed his thigh between harry's legs firmly and stuck his tongue back in harry's mouth like an invasive sea creature and crowded him again, missing all the cues to leave Harry alone. He was everywhere, his hands ran up his body and pinned harrys to the wall by his head, his chest was rough against harrys, the buttons of dracos shirt dug into his flesh and he was grinding his stiffy against harry's hip. Harry had no energy left to pry draco off him, the booze made him lethargic and tired and when Draco dropped one of harry's hands and reached down to cup harry's junk through his pants all he could do was press a hand against draco's chest so that button didn't dig into his skin so much. Draco fucking  _ moaned  _ into harys mouth as he fondled him. 

Draco fondled Harry's erection through his pants, he was so hard. It was exciting, doing such an act in a public restroom, so exposed. He felt liberated, all his life draco had hiden his feelings, his relationships and his sexuality. But he had Harry now, in a once forbidden area of the world where muggles reside, out in public, he could express his sexuality and it felt good. Harry gripped his shirt, pushing against him for a breath of air. He mumbled something low, his voice gravely and draco's stomach flipped. What a sound, he could listen to that tone forever. He leaned in and planted wet openmouthed kisses against Harry's jaw, his chin was scratchy and rough and Draco could feel Harry's heavy breaths through his throat. He squeezed the outline of harrys hard on through his pants and stroked it quickly, grinding the heel of his palm into it the way he did to himself.

He heard someone open the door to the bathroom, the noise from the pub got louder for a second, and there was a startled little intake of breath from whoever had seen them. The door closed again and the person left them to it. Draco felt his stomach lurch, a nervous and excited jump inside him that settled in his balls.

“Please st-,'' Harry moaned, wriggling under his touch, “Please, draco, stop.” he jerked under draco as he came suddenly and released tight, throaty sounds from somewhere deep in his chest. Fuck, hearing harry beg and moan like that did something to dracos body and he kissed him again. Harry tasted like alcohol and sage lip balm and draco came against Harry's hip, shuddering his release and leaning into his body heavily.

Friction is friction, and despite the situation Harry had actually come in his pants from Draco's rough touch. He hurt, and the saliva on his neck was cold and wet and the back of his head felt bruised. Draco was pinning him to the wall with his body, he was surprisingly heavy and strong for such a skinny man. Harry felt sensitive and wrong and dirty. His back, pressed against the wall, was cold but dracos body was boiling hot against his front. His head was resting in the crook of Harry's neck and his thin blond hair tickled Harry's nose. He needed a moment to compute what had just happened. His brain was starting to catch up to his body and he felt sober despite his hands shaking and his head spinning and his eyes wouldn't focus. He breathed in, catching his breath, and smelt dracos coconut shampoo and expensive cologne and that urine scent that hugged all public bathrooms. Draco released Harry's wrist which dropped to his side like a sack of bricks. He pushed himself off Harry's body, and Harry slipped down the wall without the support from dracis body holding him up. His legs were weak and his knees jittered, but he dug his fingertips in between the bricks and used them to pull himself back up strait. Draco smiled softly as he looked into Harry's eyes, but his mouth dropped when he noticed that Harry had been crying, that he was completely overwhelmed and frustrated.

Draco opened his mouth to ask something and Harry found the strength to shove him hard in the chest. Draco stumbled back a step and before he could get any sounds out Harry had swung at him, his fist connecting with his jaw. Draco's head snapped to the side and he fell into one of the toilet stalls. He slid down and sat heavily on the damp floor and looked up at harry. The brunett was ruffled and shivering uncontrollably, his hands shaking so violently draco spent a moment worrying about them despite the imposing threat of violence. Tears still fell from harrys cheeks angrily and his face was flushed red. Harry had to restrain himself from taking another swing, he pushed himself off the wall holding onto it with one hand to keep his balance. He towered over draco, his fists bunched so tight his knuckles were white. Someone came into the bathroom and Harry was blocking his path to the urinals, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

“Don't ever, fucking  _ touch  _ me again,” he spat viciously, actually spat a glob of his or malfoys, a mix of boths, saliva on the floor by the blonds shoe. Draco looked confused and frightened, he opened his mouth to say something but harry shook a fist in his direction pointing at dracos chest, “leave me the fuck alone.” and he staggered out of the bathroom leaving draco to the scathing glares of a stranger.

Outside the night was still and cold, the moon peeked through a layer of cloud and there was a hum of insects from the parkland across the road. No traffic really passed by the area but the roadside was littered with parked cars and a handful of people in transit. Harry tried his best to walk strait and proper as he left kelleys, fumbling in his pocket for his little silver packet of cigarolls. His fingers found it and he pulled it out but his hands were so jittery it slipped from his grasp and clattered to the pavement. He looked at hit for a moment, waiting for his body to calm down before bending over to pick it up, he wasn't sure if he would be able to without falling. Harry felt dirty, his pants were wet and slimy and he could feel the ghost of malfoys tongue in his mouth and hands on his body and crusty dried saliva on his neck. Tears were still falling from his eyes, he couldn't seem to get them to stop. Harry wiped at them with the back of a shaking hand and breathed in and out, trying to steady himself. He wanted a shower and a joint but they were all on the pavement and it was just too fucking hard to pick them up right that second. 

"Can I help you..?" Someone asked from beside Harry. A stocky dark man about harrys height and age was looking at him earnestly, his slanted eyes the image of concern. It was all harry could do not to sob at his gentle tone. Harry motioned to the pavement and his jittery knees and the gentleman understood him instantly. He bent down and gathered the tin and held it out for harry who accepted it, holding it tightly so as not to drop it again. The man introduced himself as Kim and ushered Harry to the steps of the theatre, holding his arm gently to steady him as he sat. Someone shrieked joyfully as they left kellys and the they watched a woman skip towards a cab and just about dive into it. 

Harry pulled a cigaroll out of the tin and put it between his lips tentatively. He conjured a flame in his hand and nearly burnt his eyebrow off lighting it. Kim looked shocked, he stared at Harry's palm where the flame had just appeared and back at Harry who was too exhausted and shaken already to offer an explanation. He sucked smoke into his lungs, breathed it in heavily and let it settle there for a second before blowing it out his nose. Harry breathed in again and held the joint out to Kim, his hands were shaking less but ash still flicked onto his lap. Kim took the joint between two fingers and breathed it in, raising an eyebrow at Harry. It smelt different to what he was used to and sure enough he coughed the moment the smoke hit his lungs. He passed it back, spluttering.

"You alright brother?" Kim asked once he'd finished coughing, "you seem pretty shaken," Kim pulled his knees up and w wrapped his arms around them, he was wearing shorts and a scarf, his shirtsleeves were rolled up to the elbow, an odd combination. A bout of body shivers struck harry and he sort of jerked around for a seond. Kim removed his scarf and laid it over his shoulders gently. Harry couldn't help but feel more relaxed next to this stranger, it was weird how close they might seem to a bystander but in reality they had just met. How bizarre, it almost seemed easier to open up to him because there was very little chance they would ever meet again. Harry nodded, looking at Kim's kind face he wanted to say something but he just didn't know where to start. 

"I, uh, a friend and i, he-" was draco really a friend? They had only really started talking a month ago and before that they were simply strangers with a shared past. As Harry tried to form the words for what had happened in the bathroom it all became more clear. Draco had fuking jumped him in a public toilet, but harry couldn't say that to a stranger. Kim looked kind but he wasn't even a bystander to the event, he felt suddenly awkward about the situation, draging someone else into his mess. He tried for vague and standoffish when he answered, smoke curling around his words, “We had a uh, misunderstanding,”

Kim raised an eyebrow and nodded to Harry's hand and he looked down at it. Seeing the blossoming colour around his nuckles he was reminded of how much it hurt to punch someone and his hand started shaking feveranty all over again. He dropped the smoke and kim stamped the ember out for him. Fuck, he had actually punched draco malfoy in the face. He had deserved it, sure, but punching draco had always soot of been a sort of wet dream of harrys from childhood and now that he had finally done it the moment was overshadowed by the fact that malfoy had jerked him off not seconds before his fist connected. 

“A disagreement hey?” kim said and continued after a pause where he looked at harry seriously, “i saw the two of you in the bathroom,” harry breathed in sharply, he had heard someone open the door in the heat of it, tried to call out to them even but they had left just as quickly. He felt a flush of shame and looked away from kim, had he seen draco pressed against him then? But kim continued, “the blond guy on the ground, he's your  _ friend  _ is he?” 

Ah, harry hadn't even recognised Kim as the man in the doorway, his vision had been blurry from the tears and a single minded passion to get out of that room. He glanced at kim and pulled the scarf in tighter around his neck. It wasn't exactly how he had pictured his night going.

"I guess not," Harry mumbled and rubbed his knuckles with the coarse pad of his thumb. What was going to happen now? How would he be able to face draco at school? What would he toll the others, he had to say something to ginny but he worried she might get mad, at whom he wasn't sure. Harry imagined for a second ginny swinging a fist at draco, or worse using her adept logic and reasoning to explain viciously why harry was a disgusting human. He had kind of cheated on her after all, playing with malfoys feelings for something cruel and fun to do with little disregard for how anyone might feel about his actions. But it had gone too far, and to what extent Harry wasn't yet sure. 


End file.
